Well, I did it again! Will I ever learn to curb my temper or keep my mouth shut? I challenged an Alpha on his own turf, in his own office, for the Goddess’ sake. What was I thinking? He would have been well within his rights to kill me and no one, especially Alpha Falan, would have tried to prevent it.
Sitting here in the room I was allotted, which may as well be a prison cell, I dread to think what will become of me when I return to the Wolfsong Pack. Everyone will know of my foolishness. How will I stand before the warriors and train them? Expect them to respect me for my warrior abilities, and disciplines when I clearly can’t live up to them myself!
You flatter yourself. What makes you think you will train anyone ever again? I sincerely doubt that you will remain in the position of Head Warrior for more than an hour on our return, and why are you thinking of our return? Our mateis here. He has shown his own level of discipline by simply allowing you to live. His pack respect him and he has not been Alpha here too long. Why would you even consider returning to the Wolfsong Pack and face your dishonor?
‘Do you truly believe Alpha Falan will take away my Head Warrior status?’
WILL YOU STOP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF, JUST FOR AN INSTANT? You have taken away everything we have worked for, with no help from anyone. You are foolish, bull-headed and bordering on plain stupid. I have no kind words for you at this moment. You cannot seriously expect me to offer you any kind of empathy.
Astra’s words cut my psyche like a whip would lash my back to shreds. ‘How can I stay here after what I’ve done? I can’t stay here and I can’t go home? Am I to become rogue?’
You would become rogue alone. I will not join you for such a disgrace of your own volition. To stay here is your only true option and to do so, you need to be humble and accept your mistake. The Alpha’s wolf, Hunter and I have spoken at length. We are happy to be mates and have many similar values. You, however, may not be the correct match for his human. He has turned down females that have tried to become a chosen mate while he waited for his fated mate, and you are what he has been given. If he was to even give you a second glance after this, you should throw yourself at him. I am done talking to you for now. Think carefully regarding my words. Our futures now depend solely on what you decide.
Seeing her lay down with her back towards me, I shudder inwardly. Never has she spoken so much, or so harshly before. Is it harsh, though? What she has said has only been truthful. I have made a mess of so many things and yet she stood by me.To tell me I would become rogue alone speaks volumes as to her intent, if I was to go down that route. I cannot go rogue. I will not go rogue. If I have to return to Wolfsong and become a kitchen assistant that the pack will treat with the scorn I deserve, I will not turn rogue.
Knocking on the door has me jumping with fright. I don’t want to see anyone right now. Further knocking, this time more insistent, has me walking to the door. Opening it, I’m greeted by the sight of Alpha Lyle standing there. I look at him but cannot think of anything to say.
“Fenya Stormhowl, I am taking a turn around the grounds. I find it relaxing and I do my best thinking at such times. Perhaps you would care to join me?”
“I don’t think my company would be conducive to your best thinking Alpha Lyle, but thank you for asking.”
As I begin to close the door, I see a look cross his face that appears to be one of sadness.Go with him you stupid human!
“Erm. Wait,” I say as he turns to leave. “On second thoughts, I will go. Some fresh air could be just what I need right now.”
A damn good thrashing is what you need!
Stepping into the hall, he takes a step and then gestures for me to walk beside him. Passing through the packhouse, I am given a range of looks by his pack members, ranging from curiosity right through to hostile.
“I have not endeared myself to your pack, I fear. My foolish behavior has not been well received.” I glance up at him with a weak smile, but he doesn’t smile back.
“How would you have reacted had one of my pack challenged your Alpha, I wonder? Not dissimilar to a lot of mine, I wouldn’tthink. In fact, I suspect that your Alpha would not have had to step into an arena. You would have taken that option off the table, so to speak.”
“Am I that transparent? I sincerely apologize for my rude behavior in challenging you. There was no reason for it other than my own ego.” I look at the ground as I walk beside him, then realize that this must look as though I don’t mean my words. Stopping I wait for him to turn and then I tip my head in the recognized sign of respect of our kind.
Nodding back at me to accept the courtesy, he then gives a small smile. It may be small, but it lights up his face in a way that I haven’t seen in anyone for a very long time. The only word that comes to mind is ‘genuine’.
As we walk, he points out things in the gardens and I sense his pride in everything around him. Seeing someone in the distance, he picks up the pace slightly. “This is someone you need to meet,” he states, and he calls out, “Blossom! Wait up.”
I hope this isn’t some female that has tried to corral him in the past. I don’t want to be meeting a string of ‘wannabes’ on our walk.
“Alpha Lyle, what can I do for you?” She asks him, and I sense only politeness and respect.
“Blossom, I’d like to introduce you to Fenya Stormhowl. Fenya, this is Blossom, our head gardener. She is responsible for all the fantastic things I have been boasting about.”
“Fenya Stormhowl. Wow, that’s quite a fearsome name. No wonder you believed you could best our alpha. I understand that you are fated mates? Word spreads quickly. Congratulations, I think. You will certainly test each other at times. I sense that already.”
“We have not accepted each other as yet.” My tone comes out all wrong, yet she just grins.
“As yet. But you will. You look good together and most of the pack are looking forward to fireworks from you both.” Laughing, she turns and walks back to her gardening.
“Well, that told us, didn’t it?” I grin at Alpha Lyle and see him grin back.
“She has a direct way with words that you never seem to be able to take offense at. It’s one of her many talents.” Setting off again, I notice that we are heading for the forest where we had our brief confrontation.
“You played me from the very beginning in that arena. I was beaten before Alpha Falan started the contest.” I stop at the first stand of trees and look up at him.
“You were sure of yourself, I’ll give you that.”
