‘I am not ‘difficult’. The words you are looking for are ‘confident, headstrong, and perhaps a little rebellious’. Not difficult.’
I think your body clock is ticking and you need to have pups! That will temper your ‘confident, headstrong, and perhaps a little rebellious’nature.
‘What on earth possesses you to say such a thing? What could I…me, Fenya Stormhowl, possibly offer a pup? Sometimes Astra, you defy all logic and common sense with your nonsense.’
Definitely body clock, and hormones!
Seeing two warriors in the training area staring at me, I realize I didn’t pay attention to their training.
“Again. Do it again, and this time do it like you mean it!” I feel my anger as I spit the words, and it’s not fair to take my mood out on everyone else. “Hold! That’s enough for today. We’re done here.”
Walking away from the training area, a mind link informs me that Alpha Falan will be arriving home within the hour. He’s only getting the most basic formal return I am allowed to give. If I give him a parade and fanfare, he’ll want me home to arrange it every time he goes anywhere. Also, if it’s basic, he will know I haven’t got over beingleft behind.
After consulting with Beta Garrin, who finds my mood at being left behind extremely funny, we have eight warriors to present a welcome for Alpha Falan. If I had my way, he would have returned to find me standing exactly where I was when he left!
Difficult? I think difficult just got upgraded to IMPOSSIBLE! Are you listening to yourself? You’re worse than a spoiled pup, the way you are behaving.
‘Keep calling me names and you’ll find your next rabbit has been hand reared and fed on sedatives!’
Go on. Do it. You know you want to run on the spot and stamp your feet. Go on!
I refuse to answer my wolf because annoyingly, she is right. She can push my buttons like no other can. One of these days she’ll goad me into doing something to embarrass myself in front of Alpha Falan, or maybe the whole damn pack.
Seeing Alpha Falan, and his escort arrive back I can’t help a sense of relief wash over me. He’s home safe. As they approach the pack doors, Astra jumps to her feet and I sense her excitement. It takes a few seconds before I realize what has her so excited and before Alpha Falan reaches my position at the end of the line, I turn and bolt inside the packhouse.
‘Astra! We must not let anyone know! I am not ready for this. I need more information before accepting this.’
You cannot deny this, Fenya. It is the will of the Goddess. Also, you cannot deny me! This is both of our destinies, not just yours.
‘I know that, but I am not ready! My life is here, protecting the Alpha. I am not prepared to just leave everything behind and blindly follow some male.’
I will be silent for now. You, however, need to assemble your thoughts and get prepared for meeting our mate. I will not stay silent for long!
“FENYA!” Beta Garrin’s voice echoes through the packhouse. “FENYA! My office, this instant!”
Entering his office after knocking and being told to ‘get in here, now’, I don’t think I have ever seen the Beta so angry.
“Alpha Falan allows you to get away with much with your attitude because you are so good as the pack's Head Warrior,and I suspect because he has a soft spot for you. I, however, have no such feelings and will not tolerate your blatant disrespect. Running away like a spoiled brat when the Alpha has just returned is going too far. You are hereby removed from any Head Warrior duties until further notice. You will report to the Kitchen Manager at five a.m. each morning, and to the Head Gardener at five p.m. each evening. You will give each of them four hours of your labor, and you will not give a single word of complaint, no matter what tasks you are delegated.” Beta Garrin stares at me as if he is seeing me for the first time ever. “I do not know what got into you, Fenya, but as much as I admire your abilities, showing such open disrespect in front of the pack cannot, and will not go unpunished. You will start your penance by reporting to the Head Gardener this evening. Now get out and consider yourself lucky that things are not much worse.”
Gritting my teeth hard, I leave the office and retire to my room in the packhouse. Throwing myself on the bed, I do something I haven’t done since I was a child. I cry! I know Astra is furious with me. I feel her anger coursing through every fiber of my being.
‘I am so sorry, Astra. I did not think my actions through when I ran. I panicked.’
You could put this all right if you would tell Beta Garrin why you ran, but I know you too well. You will allow US to suffer OUR indignation and loss of face just because of YOUR stubbornness. I tell you this now, in front of the Goddess herself. I will not stand idly by once more because of your human foolishness. Know now, Fenya Stormhowl. I will burst forth if you ever disrespect us in this way again.
Laying on the bed until it is time to report to the Head Gardener, Freya Moonjaw, I hear Astra’s words echoing throughout mymind. She is correct and I have nothing with which to argue her words. My shame weighs heavily on my shoulders and I have to go out there and face the pack, with all their whisperings and sly looks. I know no-one will look me in the eye or speak openly to my face. Only Zephyra, my lifelong friend, will do that. Everyone else will be too afraid to risk my wrath.
Reporting to Freya, she gives me a task to complete and tells me how long she expects it to take. When done, I am to report to her for the next.
Cutting the firewood gathered near the kitchen should take me an hour, but in my mood, I punish myself far harder than anything Beta Garrin could think up, and the wood is done in forty minutes. This is how the four hours go and I suspect that by the end of it, I have completed some of the tasks planned for me tomorrow.
Sitting alone and eating a cold supper in the dining hall, as hard as I try not to, my mind wanders to who my mate is and what they are like. I don’t see myself becoming a meek and mild homemaker and pups have never been a thing for me.
He will have to be as strong-willed as I am, and that could lead to some serious fireworks. I do not concede my position easily either in competition or in an argument. Ha! And if I don’t feel like mating, it isn’t going to happen.
Fortunately, I don’t hold to such boundaries.
These are the first words that Astra has spoken since our meeting with Beta Garrin, and although not friendly, they are not hostile either.
