“I get no pleasure from it, if that’s what you think.”Lie. That’s a lie. I get more pleasure from this than I do from most things, lately.
She laughs. She has been so focused on bantering with me that she hasn’t even noticed we’ve stopped walking and are now standing in line. “And what exactlydoyou get pleasure from, Esquire?”
“Kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”
“You’re the one who wants to know if I’m getting laid or not.”
Okay, so she did know what I was thinking. “And did you hear me ask the question? You did not.”
“But you’re dying to know.”
“I’m definitely not dying to know.” I look down at her and smirk. “How do you like it?”
She blushes and pushes her hair behind one of her ears. “Excuseme?”
“What do you want on yours?”
She looks so confused right now, I almost feel sorry for her, but I also sort of want to hold her and kiss her.
“What do I want on my what?”
“Your hot dog.”
She finally realizes that we’re standing in front of a hot dog cart.
“Oh. Sauerkraut and mustard.”
“Interesting. Two sauerkraut and mustard.”
“So this is breakfast?” She reaches into her back pocket. “Oh shit I don’t have my wallet.”
“I got this.”
“Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I ate a hot dog.”
“You’re not a vegetarian, are you?”
“I’m the kind of vegetarian who occasionally eats meat when she feels like it and briefly feels guilty while doing it.”
“So youwill dothings if you feel like it.”
“Why, Mr. McGovern, that is a rather personal question.”
“It wasn’t a question.”
“Yes it was. You’re wondering if I’m lame and uptight because I haven’t gotten laid in ages. But I’m lame and uptight even when I am getting laid regularly, and besides, it hasn’t been that long. Not that it’s any of your business.” I can tell by the way her lips tighten as soon as she stops talking that she regrets blurting out what she just said.
“Isn’t it interesting how you answer questions that have never been asked?”
“Is that a real question?”
“When I have a real question for you, Bernie, you’ll know it.”
“Don’t call me Bernie.”
“Okay…So you’re seeing someone?”
“No.”