“Awww, hi Daisy!”
I shine my light in Matt’s face, to illuminate his frown. “I heard you scream like a maniac,” he says.
“That was not a maniacal scream. I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“If you say so.”
“Did you come by to issue a formal noise complaint?”
“I came to make sure you’re okay.”
“I am fan-fucking-tastic, thanks.”
“Fucking-A. Do you know where my aunt keeps her flashlights and candles?” he asks.
“No. Would you like to come in?”
He sighs and enters, waiting for me to close the door before putting his dog down on the floor.
I hand him the flashlight so I can bend down and give Daisy a two-handed welcome. “Hi there! Hey girlfriend! Were you scared, huh, were you?”
“Dogs have night vision,” Matt says.
“I know that,” I snap. “But it’s not as good as a cat’s.”
“I know that,” he says, and I can tell that he’s grinning.
I give Daisy an awkward kiss, then stand up and take the flashlight from him. “I’ve got another flashlight and some candles if you want to borrow them.”
“Actually,” he says. “Hang on. I want to look outside. I want to see how far the blackout extends.
I shine the light in the direction of my living room windows, which look out towards the street. I turn it off when we get to the windows and look out. It’s not like we’re all that high up, but it’s clear that it’s dark for as far as we can see, save for the lights of cars. The rain is hitting the glass, and lightning flashes, illuminating everything for one weird second.
All that electricity in the air out there is not making it easy to ignore the highly-charged energy between us today. I don’t want to call it sexual energy. We probably both just haven’t had dinner yet.
“It’s so quiet,” he says.
And then a bunch of asshole drivers start honking.
We both laugh.
“The blackout shouldn’t last long,” I say. “It didn’t last month, anyway.”
“I know. We lost power downtown too.”
He’s quiet for a while. I imagine he’s thinking about his girlfriend, whom he was still living with during the last power outage. So, instead of bringing up our email exchange, I stand next to him in silence, both of us looking out the windows. I place the flashlight on the window ledge.
Daisy is very calm and still, near Matt’s feet.
I am suddenly aware of how close he’s standing to me.
I can smell his cologne and hear him breathing.
I can definitely hear Daisy breathing through her adorable flat nose.
But it’s Matt that I’m so aware of, even in the dark. It’s not like he’s a big burly guy, but something about him just exudes masculinity. In spite of the anger and frustration, I feel especially girly next to him. I’m not used to it. When I’m working with Sebastian, I tend to overcompensate by wearing basic, almost asexual clothes, because I want to be professional. And of course, the guys I know in the art world are all about expressing themselves all the time in every way possible. But Matt’s quiet strength is magnetic. Infuriating. But also magnetic. This guy is making all my girl parts wake up with a jolt and they’re crying out:Notice me! Touch me! Make me feel like a natural woman!
Oh God, he can probably hear my uterus yelling at him right now.
