He pauses for a second. “Are your parents home?”
“They’re probably working in the other studio, and anyway, you know it wouldn’t matter to them.”
“You people are my kind of crazy.” He breaks into a run, and I take a mental picture because I want to paint this image of us sprinting to the bedroom to have sex. I want to paint everything, and it’s all because of him.
I start pulling Matt’s shirt off before we’ve reached the door to my room. His skin is damp and taut and giving off so much heat. He releases my hair from its bun and rakes his fingers through the length of it. Every cell in my body is pulsating with the need to touch and be connected to this man in every possible way. When he shuts the door behind us, I unzip his jeans and reach for his beautiful hard cock like a hysterical starving woman unwrapping a Dove ice cream bar.
But then, when he’s unhooking my overalls and they drop to the ground, I realize that we need to slow this down. This is about more than lust. This is about us coming together for real from now on.
It’s going to happen. It’s happening now. I’m going to converge with him on every level, even if it’s the only time we ever do this. I’m going to say everything that needs to be said with my body and with words until there’s nothing but love and understanding and sweat between us.
Matt gives me a look, and I know that he knows what we’re about to do here. He gives me that little cowboy nod of his and grins. He kisses my forehead. “Nothing ever happened with Vanessa after I met you. You know that, right?”
I kiss his bare chest, right over his heart. “You know that nothing ever happened with Sebastian, right? I’ve never been in love with anyone before. It’s only you.”
“I think everything that I thought was being in love before was really just a longing for this feeling I have for you.”
He lifts me up and drops me onto the bed. As he pushes my T-shirt up my stomach, he kisses around my belly button and asks: “So you’re going to work for Anita? Is that a good thing?”
I laugh. “It will be, I think. She promised not to make a pass at you. I think she actually went out with your friend a couple of times.”
“That’s news to me,” he says, his mouth ever so slowly making its way up to my breasts. “You do know that I make a fuck-load of money, right? I mean, I’m not a millionaire but if you have your savings and you don’t want to work for a while, you don’t have to.”
I hold onto his head. I love the thoughts that live in that head of his, even when I have no idea what they are. “I love you for offering that, but I need to make money on my own. I think I’d get too anxious if I felt like I depended on you like that.”
“Okay. I understand.”
“Anita called to offer me a part-time job as soon as she heard that Sebastian’s moving out of town. It’s just organizational stuff that her regular assistant isn’t good at, and cataloging collections. But I can make my own hours, which is perfect because I’ll be painting too.”
“I’m glad.” A kiss to my ribcage, and then he hovers there over my cleavage, looking up at me. “I don’t have a talent, you know. I’m good at contracts and conference calls and explaining laws to people. But I want to be great at being here for you. So you can be a dreamer again and shine on your own.”
“My anchor.”
“Yes.”
Lord, when this man finally talks, every word from his mouth takes my breath away. “Matt. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I will do everything I can for you. Every day. Top of my Will Do list.”
Mmmmmm,is all he can say to that. His tongue swirls around my nipple and I arch my back to offer myself up to him. It’s when he consumes me like this that I feel the frenzied need inside of him and it turns me on like nothing else ever has.
“I want you to have all of me,” I whisper. “I’m going to give you everything, every dark neglected corner, all the parts that don’t work properly yet.”
“I’m taking all of you,” he growls. “I’m going to find every place you try to hide in and stay with you there until you aren’t afraid of anything anymore.” He reaches down into my panties and groans when he finds the warm wet place that’s aching for him.
“I’m not going to try to change you. I don’t want you to force yourself to talk if you don’t want to.”
“You already have changed me,” he says emphatically, pushing down his own underwear. “I’m not just the guy my parents raised anymore, I’m the guy who lives for you. I need to be inside you now.”
“Get in there right now. God, I can’t wait to live with you so we can do this all the time.”
“I’m going to wear you out, Bernadette Farmer.”
“I’m going to crash through all the walls, Esquire.”
He enters me slowly and it’s only been a week and a half or so since this has happened, but I swear he has grown since the last time and I gasp. I gasp because I not only see, but I feel a burst of colors. All the colors, as they fade to black and then explode like fireworks when he thrusts and makes that sound that I love. The throat sound that means he can relax now because he’s where he needs to be.
There are no boundaries.
The only rule is we’re all in.
“The painting I’m working on is calledLove at First Sight,” I whisper breathlessly. “I fell in love with both of you as soon as I saw you, and every time after.”
“I knew it,” he says. “Fuck, I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.” He picks up the pace, and there’s nothing left to say with words now.
We did it.
We converge-sated.
And now we’re going to come together for real.
