I ponder that before I answer.
"No. I never doubted your love for me... even when Tiero was still alive and showed up in our lives."
"Good. Because I chose you, Aiden Burg. You and I are the perfect match."
Her words make my insides flutter with happiness and contentment. Her next ones, though?
"The time I spent with Tiero on this island was my happiest time since my parents' death... maybe even ever. Up until that point at least," she adds, nudging my side with her elbow.
"I had fallen head over heels in love with Tiero, and I believe it was the same for him. But we weren't a good fit. We were one of those cases where love isn't enough. Even before I knew who he really was, the gap between everything we believed in, everything that we had and aspired to was just too big. Take the practical, physical things, for example. I've never seen myself in a huge Sicilian mansion, but a house in the mountains? Yes, yes, yes." "So you're saying my house was the deciding factor?" I joke. "Totally," she deadpans. I pull her closer, putting her in a tender headlock. When I release her, she continues. "In all seriousness, though, it's just one example of how you are everything I ever wanted in life. I don't want a Ferrari... though driving one was such fun. But if I had that every day, it wouldn't be special anymore. This way, I have the best memories. The designer wardrobe I woke up to after my abduction horrified me. So muchmoney spent on clothes... it's wasteful. And I didn't want to consider the way Tiero and his family got that rich.
"That's another sore point. Everything he spent on me came from the suffering of others."
The way Ella and Gualtiero earned their money couldn't have been more opposite. The guide dog trainer for the blind versus the Mafia Don dealing in drugs, weapons, and God knows what else.
It's not something Ella could have overlooked, let alone accepted.
Their relationship was doomed from the start. As Ella said, no amount of love could have overcome that gap.
"What about this island?" I challenge. "It was bought with the same money, yet you've accepted it."
Ella lets out a long sigh. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't have. But it was Tiero's dying wish. How could I have denied him anything at that point? He was giving his life up for me. And Tiero also had legitimate businesses. He could have bought the island with those profits."
Silence follows.
Really, what else is there to say? Both of us would have pretty much agreed to anything if it meant Tiero could die peacefully. It's partially the reason we're getting married here with Father Josef officiating. We promised Tiero, and, really, it's an easy promise to keep.
"You know, I understand why he did it... die for you, I mean. In his position, I would have done the same. Not just because I love you beyond rhyme or reason, but also if I had to face losing you to another man, the future would look extremely bleak. Death could be the kinder option."
Ella lets her head fall back onto my shoulder, groaning. "Dammit. That's a horrible thing to say."
"It doesn't make it any less true."
"I know," she sighs. "And I understand. In Tiero's position, I probably would have done the same too," she admits, gazing up at the stars.
They're beginning to disappear one by one as twilight blooms on the horizon. The sky is gradually lightening, the highest clouds catching the first pink, orange, and red hues and bathing them in a soft glow.
This is my favorite time of the day. Everything is still quiet and covered with the heavy blanket of sleep. Then, bit by bit, the world comes to life.
"Do you think in another lifetime we'll really meet again... the three of us?" Ella asks, breaking the silence.
I press a kiss to her temple. "Yes, I do believe that."
Prior to my time in India, I would have laughed at the idea. In the army and then later in the Green Berets, when you deal with life and death on a regular basis, you only count on the tangible things. Concepts like reincarnation seemed airy-fairy, and frankly loopy. Though, had I ever stopped to consider it more, perhaps it could have brought some relief in the hours of anguish and despair.
"Do you think I'm going to be in the same position again? Where I have to choose one over the other?" Ella's voice is hesitant. This isn't something she wants to experience again.
"I don't want to speculate. Though I'd hope that if you had to, you'd always pick me, and that there's less death and destruction. Who knows, you might not need to choose because Tiero and I are gay."
She huffs. "You two are so alpha male, I could not imagine you batting for the other team."
I couldn't imagine it either, but who knows what's possible?
"Tiero did make me feel all kinds of weird stuff. But I definitely wasn't sexually attracted to him."
"I sometimes wonder what our other lifetimes together looked like... especially the one after our soul split. Would it have been more intense because the memory of a united soul was stronger?"
"If you really wanted to know, you could try hypnosis for a past life regression. I've heard of people who've done it and recovered memories from centuries ago."
