The next time I open my eyes, I’m in so much pain. Whimpering, I curl in on myself.
What is going on?
My body feels hot and heavy, my lips achy and dry. My stomach is cramping so badly.
Something is wrong. This isn’t normal.
My stomach contracts, making me cry out in pain as slick coats my inner thighs.No. No, this can’t be happening.
But it is. And I know it. My heat has started, and there was no easing into it this time.
It’s hitting me hard and fast.
With every bit of energy I have, I claw at my clothes, sobbing because every movement makes my muscles scream in pain. I feel like I’m being weighed down by quicksand.
Once I’m naked, I lie back in my bed, staring up at the ceiling with blurry eyes.
My breathing is ragged, my head is spinning, and my body is burning-I think I’m dying.
The burning need in me demands to be taken care of. I need to cum, I need something inside me.
Rolling over, I swing my feet off the bed and get to my feet. I sway side to side before shaking my head, needing to get some sort of clarity and take stock of the situation.
I’m in heat. I’ve done this every month for years. I can do this. I got this.
Stumbling over to the closet, I grab my small bag that’s filled with sex toys and bring it back to the bed.
Unzipping it, I dump everything onto the blanket and sift through the items.
Deciding on a dildo and a bullet vibrator, I crawl back into bed and lie down.
I don’t waste any time inserting the dildo, the thick toy filling me up. I cry out, eyes rolling back as I move it in and out of me, the tip hitting my G-spot and making me see stars.
With fumbling hands, I turn the vibrator on and place it on my clit. An orgasm hits me within seconds, making me scream out as my body convulses. Wave after wave of the orgasm pulls me under until I can’t breathe.
Lying there panting like I’ve run a marathon, I let my body relax as the aching feeling leaves me.
I only get maybe a minute to enjoy the peace before the pain comes back again.
“No, no, no,” I sob out. “Nooo!”
This isn’t right. This isn’t supposed to hurt. Why does it hurt?
My arms feel like jelly, but I need to be filled, so I bring the toy back up to my opening and shove it back in. Full body sobswrack through me as I lose my mind. I cum again and again, but nothing is making this pain go away.
Shoving the toy as deep as it can go, I force myself to take its knot. My walls clamp down around it, but it does nothing. I need more. I need a cock, a real one. A real knot. I need to be pumped full of cum and fucking stuffed full from it until I pass out.
This isn’t going to do that.
Scared and tired, I lay there, dildo still in place, while I’m consumed by deep, body-racking sobs.
Not even being commanded by an Alpha to do something against my free will hurt as much as this does.
And all I want to do, for the first time in a very long time, is die. Even if it takes this pain away just for a little while.
Chapter 20
Brady
