“We should,” Carina agreed. “Then maybe I wouldn’t have to ditch the bodyguards all the time.”
Tino leaned past Brianna and looked at his sister. “Bodyguards?”
“Yeah, that’s why I spent the night at Brianna’s last night. You think Nonno would let me ride the train to Bed-Stuy?” She laughed in disbelief. “They think we’re hanging at Brianna’s all day.”
Tino’s face physically paled, the horror was so blatant. “What the fuck, Carina?”
“It’s fine,” Carina assured him. “We do it all the time.”
“Guess who’s gonna pay for it if we get caught?” Tino barked at her. “You just threw me under the bus.”
“I’ll tell them you didn’t know.” Carina popped her gum again. “I promise.”
“Which isn’t a lie.” Brianna looked to Tino in concern. “I thought you knew.”
Tino dropped his head back against the seat. “Cazzo.”
“I had to cheer for Brianna,” Carina went on, though she sounded a little frantic. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come?”
“Carina.” Tino sighed in annoyance. “If we get caught, I’m fucked on so many levels.”
Carina was quiet for a long time before she said, “I’m sorry.”
Tino closed his eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”
“Am I an asshole?” Carina asked in the same way Tino had, looking to Brianna for confirmation.
“Yeah.” Brianna winced. “Pretty much.”
“Does that mean you don’t love me anymore?” Carina asked like a girl who needed someone to love her more than anything. It was a rare show of vulnerability from her. “That you don’t wanna be my brother?”
Tino snorted and looked back to her. “If I stopped loving someone for being an asshole, I would’ve dumped Nova ages ago. Brothers love you even when you fuck up. That’s sorta how it works.”
* * * *
Tino’s excitement for anything in general had waned since the night before.
The Bed-Stuy trip went from being the one thing he was excited about to just one more thing to do because he was fucking obligated. It was hot, the walk was long on crutches, and now, on top of everything else, he had to worry about getting caught with Carina.
He was still fighting that void that wanted to sneak up and wipe out any semblance of who he was before he’d been forced to move to Dyker Heights.
And what the fuck was he fighting it for?
He wanted to be numb.
He wanted to stop thinking about what happened the day before.
He wanted to be pissed off at Carina for being built like her mother in a twelve-year-old sort of way. It was really fucking him up, on every single level. He could see what she was going to turn into, and it was making him feel like he was going to lose his lunch again.
He was irrationally furious at his ma. Which he hated, because she was gone, and he didn’t want the nice things about her to be ruined.
He was sort of pissed off at Romeo too.
For being in jail.
It was just all mixed up in his mind, the fear for Romeo and the fear of Mary.
And he still had a whole fuckload of issues where Nova was concerned.
