“Wow.” Bobby sounded awed, though Tino couldn’t remember what they were talking about. “I wonder what that’s like.”
“It’d just make you more expensive,” Meilei said dismissively. “And the bastards who took it wouldn’t be kind, or maybe you forgot that part. Be happy it’s over.”
Oh.
Virginity.
Right.
Tino had to agree with Bobby.
What the fuck wasthatlike?
“She’s still a virgin,” Tino said, feeling very proud of himself, considering it had taken everything in him not to take what she offered. “I didn’t fuck her. I wanted to. Madonn’, I wanted to, but I didn’t.”
“I understand,” Meilei said without hesitation, which was very nice after everyone else in his life treating him like he was fucking crazy for turning it down. “You don’t want the ugliness to touch her.”
Tino rolled over and wrapped his arms around Meilei. He buried his face against her stomach, smelling expensive perfume, and whispered, “I’m sorry I hurt you, sweetheart,” because she was way too good for someone like him. “I’m an asshole.”
“No, you’re not. You can’t hurt me.” Meilei’s fingers were still in his hair. “You only hurt yourself. You loved the wrong one.”
That was the fucking truth.
Life would be so much easier if he could just love Meilei instead.
Or Carla.
Or even Bobby.
“She seemed nice.” Bobby squeezed Tino’s knee again. “What was it like?”
“It was awesome,” Tino said against Meilei’s stomach as he closed his eyes and remembered lying in bed with Brianna. Holding her. Kissing her. Listening to her. “When I make her come. Cazzo. To listen to her, you’d think it was the greatest thing in the fucking world. It’s like I can actually feel what it’ssupposedto be like when you fuck someone. I didn’t even need to fuck her to feel it. I just needed to hear her. To watch her.”
Meilei’s fingers stopped in his hair, and for a second he thought he’d pissed her off again, but instead she asked, “Really?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, unable to taper the admiration he felt for Brianna and the fact that she could give him that. Even if it was gone now, just touching it was something. “It was incredible. I want you to have that, sweetheart. Someone who makes you feel like a goddess.”
Meilei was quiet for a moment, and Tino opened his eyes to see that her dark gaze was glassy before she gave him a smile and said, “I matter,” like she wanted to believe it.
“You do,” he promised her. “You really do. One day, you’ll find your Peter Pan. You’ll be his Wendy. It’ll be amazing for you. I believe that.”
“What about me?” Bobby pushed Tino’s leg. “Where’s my Peter Pan?”
“Bobby, youarePeter Pan,” Tino said with the first genuine smile he’d managed since Brianna walked out of his life.
Bobby laughed, and Meilei laughed with him. For a tiny flash of time, Tino thought he might be able to take a clear breath without the pain crushing the air out of his chest, but then just as quickly, their laughter sobered, and Bobby said, “This is Moretti turf.”
An annoyed female voice cut in over the music. “But you’re here.”
“Tino’s my friend. Everyone knows that.” Bobby sounded indignant. “And Carmine’s not my father.”
That slashed through the drugs flooding Tino’s system, and he rolled over to see Lola Brambino standing there, beautiful as ever in a long blue dress that clung to her in all the right places and brought out her eyes. She had an Armani purse on her arm despite the location, in the same way Nova carried thousands in cash. They were too valuable to be attacked, and they knew it, but all Tino could do was look at her in horror. “What are you doing here? My brother’s here!”
Lola leaned into him, long dark curls falling past her shoulders. Her light eyes were wide and fearful against her tanned skin. She spoke in a low and frantic tone. “I didn’t know. Please don’t tell him. Promise, Tino.”
“What?” He frowned at her, feeling like he’d smoked way more than he actually did, because he didn’t understand what the hell she was trying to tell him. “Don’t tell who—” He stopped when he spied Nova breaking his way through the crowd. Every muscle in Tino’s body contracted when he saw Carlo with him. He’d been checked out this past week since the fight with Brianna, but it all came back in a huge rush, and he whispered, “Oh my God. You’re the Dominican?”
Lola pulled back and gave him an icy stare. “Is that how he described me?”
