“No. I chose you partly because I thought it would be better with you than the others. But it’s new. I don’t know you well, and I don’t know exactly what to expect. So I’d like to do it. Now. So I know.”
I’m not sure I explained very clearly because I’m shuddering deep inside, but he appears to understand anyway. He nods.
“Okay?” I prompt, confirming what I already know to be true. “We can fuck tonight?”
“We can fuck tonight.”
“All right. Good.” I stare at the bed. “Which side is yours?”
“This one.” He moves into the room, sitting on the side nearest the door.
I move to the other side near the wall, where I was lying earlier today. I pull down the covers and climb in, putting my head on a pillow and gazing up at him.
He sits for a minute, like he’s stalled. Then takes off his shoes and socks. Pulls off his vest, his T-shirt, and his jeans.
His body is big—naturally so, although I saw a room downstairs filled with weights and workout equipment, so he probably exercises regularly—and he has a lot of dark body hair. Overall he’s not bad to look at. He turns toward me, gesturing toward my gown. “You gonna take that off?”
I pull my gown off over my head, hoping he’ll be satisfied with my appearance. I’m wearing nothing beneath it. My breastsare fairly big, but they’re soft. Not perky. I’m in good shape, but my belly has never been perfectly flat.
I haven’t shaved anything except my legs and underarms since Impact.
Levi moves onto his knees on the bed as he stares at me. I can see he’s getting turned on from the bulge at the front of his worn boxers.
It’s a relief. At least my body is attractive to him.
We stare at each other like that for a minute until I decide I better take care of some business if I want the intercourse to be comfortable. I move my hands to my breasts and play with my nipples, feeling the corresponding tugs at my pussy.
I’m not really aroused. I’m far too nervous and uncertain for that. But my body does respond to certain stimulation, so this should help at least a little.
Levi’s expression changes as he watches me tease my breasts. There’s more color in his face. The shape of a full erection is clear beneath the fabric of his underwear.
“Open up here,” he says gruffly, pointing toward my groin.
I do as he says, spreading my legs to expose my pussy. The cool air against my intimate flesh is startling and embarrassing. My cheeks are burning again. My breath is coming out in little pants.
He moves to kneel between my legs. Using his fingers, he feels me, sliding one all the way inside.
I’m definitely not wet, but it’s not totally dry either. I keep fondling my breasts.
He moves his hand so his thumb can push against my clit. He rubs it in firm circles.
Between that and my hands on my breasts, I definitely feel something.
He rubs me off for a minute until I can tell I’m wet enough to be comfortable. “Okay,” I say, my voice soft and weirdly raspy. “I’m ready.”
He sticks his finger inside me again. What he feels there must reassure him because he nods and pulls his cock out of his boxers.
I’ve had sex with three different men in my life. All of them looked different. Levi’s cock is decent-sized—thick and circumcised with dark hair around the base.
He looks fine. Nothing too strange or intimidating.
I’m ready when he lifts up my hips to align me at his groin and then eases his cock inside me.
It’s tight. No question. I haven’t had sex in years, and he’s not small. But it doesn’t hurt, and he doesn’t jam it in all at once.
It’s okay. It’s fine. I breathe deeply and nod at him when I see that he’s watching me. “All good. You can go ahead.”
I should be acting sexy—trying to allure him so he doesn’t regret agreeing to my proposal. But there’s no way that’s in me at the moment. All I can do is get through this without completely freaking out.
