Stupid, I know, but it’s my reality. This is shit I worry about now.
“Yup,” he seems proud of himself. “So if you want, we can ride in the car on either side of them. I know how to save them if something goes sideways.”
“I have a feeling you know how to save anyone if things go sideways.”
He chuckles. “Dangers of the job, really.”
Those words hit me in a way I’m not expecting. I know he’s joking, but it still bothers me—the fact I couldn’t help the manI loved deal with all the shit going on in his head. I’m quiet, but I don’t think he notices as we wait with the girls to climb on. I climb on before him, sitting on the edge of the seat. He’s a big guy, so when he scoots in next to me, we take up every part of the seat.
“Are you okay?” he asks as we start slowly moving up. He’s put his arm around my shoulder, and even though I want to relax into his side, I can’t.
It does no good if we start this off not being honest with one another. Had my husband been honest with me, we would probably still be married and he would have gotten the help he needed. “Just the way you said the dangers of the job. It reminds me of what you do. It’s nothing about you,” I try to appease him. “This is just something I’ll have to get used to if I want to keep seeing you.”
“Damn.” He leans close to my neck. “I didn’t even think about how that might have come off to someone in your situation. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay; I have to quit being sensitive. Not everyone knows my situation, and someone will always say something that affects me differently than others.” I look out over the ocean, feeling the peace I craved when I came here. This place—it saved my life. There wasn’t a TV station begging for a news story; there weren’t well-meaning people wanting to know what happened to him. I still can’t say his name, even in my thoughts. I suppose when I can, I’ll be ready to move on.
“The ocean is so pretty,” he whispers as we look out.
The girls are laughing, and I look back to make sure they’re okay and sitting down like they should be. They wave at me, both of them seeming excited to be on their own. I remember how important that was as a kid their age—to prove to the adults that I could take care of myself.
“It is; that’s why we moved back here. I wanted something that would ease the ache in my chest. This seemed like the best place to be.”
“I’m happy you came here.” He grips my shoulder in his palm. “I mean, I know it couldn’t have been easy, but I’m glad you didn’t go somewhere else.”
“Me too,” I grin up at him. “This was the place I needed, and I’ve never been sorry coming here. In some ways it would have been easier to stay at home and deal with things head-on, but neither of us could have dealt with that. There were too many memories, too many people wanting answers to questions we didn’t even know we had. Here we take walks like this without people bothering us. Thank you for inviting us.”
“Thank you for coming.”
On a whim, I reach up, slightly pressing my lips to his cheek, thanking him with a gesture for including us. The day has been fun, and been way more than we would have done, had it just been the two of us.
“Invite us again?” I tease.
“Whenever you wanna come, you don’t even have to ask.”
My brain can’t help but go to other ways he can help me come, and as I settle back in the seat, I do so with red cheeks and a one-track mind.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
GUNNER
"What's with the smile on your face?" Ash questions as he has a seat next to me at the table.
We're on hour fifteen of twenty-four on. "Just texting."
"With who?"
I put my phone down and give him an annoyed look. "What does it matter? I don't ask you about your personal business."
Ash throws back his head laughing. "That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard you say. You always ask me about my personal business."
Mark has a seat across from us. "Why are you two bitching?"
He's younger than the two of us. "Shut up and let the adults talk." I flip him the bird.
Shaking his head, he gets up, muttering something about how annoying we are, and how at some point we'll have to treat him as an equal. Ash turns back. "So, who are you talking to?"
Rolling my eyes, I flip my phone back over. "Amy. We've been talking since I took her and Rosa to the boardwalk."
