I raise my hand and she purses her lips.
"I thought it would be best if we didn’t see each other at all. If I didn’t allow myself anywhere near you, there wouldn’t be any temptation. But I was wrong."
"You were?"
I nod, "I realize now, you were sent to me precisely so I could continuously test myself. You are the route to my betterment. Before you, I’d become boring… Complacent, even. I’d reached a plateau, where I thought I was doing everything I could to show the Lord that I am his faithful disciple, but it turns out that I was wrong."
She glowers at me. "You were, huh?"
"Yes. Absolutely." I square my shoulders. "You are His way of showing me that I have a long way to go before I master my senses. I thought I’d conquered my weaknesses, but now I can see that’s not true."
"So," she straightens, "I am a weakness?"
"Exactly." I nod. "You’re a failing, someone sent to hold a mirror up to my shortcomings."
"Shortcomings?" She huffs, "You’re calling me a shortcoming?"
"Not you." I frown. "Mine, I am the one found wanting. I saw you and realized just how long a road I have yet to travel before I can claim to be anywhere near the kind of perfection I hope to achieve."
"You are trying to achieve perfection, huh?"
"Aren’t we all?" I drawl.
"Not me, buster." She shakes her hair back from her face. "I am human, and I plan to embrace my failings, my imperfections and my quirks, without which I am nothing but a colorless shadow of myself."
"You," I chuckle, "you’ll never be a colorless anything. You’re fire and radiance and purity—the kind I can only hope to achieve."
She opens and shuts her mouth. "Purity?" She shakes her head. "You’re confusing me with someone else."
"I know what I see…" I rake my gaze across her features, "a woman who’s passionate about what she believes, who wants to live life to the fullest, who wants to experience every single experience, every emotion there is. Someone who—"
She reaches forward and slaps her palm over my mouth. "Stop," she whispers.
Sensations curl in my chest and blood rushes to my groin. I step back.
She pulls back her hand. "Sorry." She hesitates. "I… I didn’t mean to do that, but sometimes when I’m with you, it’s difficult for me to hold back."
"That’s what I mean." I spear my fingers through my hair. "Clearly, this is why we need to meet. It’s the only way I can continuously test myself against the temptation that you embody. You’re an impulse I need to steer clear of. An enticement I must…avoid at all costs."
She blinks rapidly. "Okay, now I am completely confused. You want to avoid me… Yet you say we need to meet. But earlier, you said we shouldn’t be friends. So, what is it?"
"I’m saying, we should be friends with benefits."
She gapes. "Benefits?" she chokes out. "What…what kind of benefits?"
"The conversational kind."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." I quirk my lips. "We meet, keep our distance," I point to the space between us, "but we continue to converse, to exchange opinions on anything under the sun."
"And during the time we meet, you try to resist me?"
"Exactly." I snap my fingers. "What better way to prove myself to the Lord than to show that I can withstand the wickedest of lures that he sends my way?"
"That’s it." She throws up her hands, "First, you raise me up on some kind of bullshit pedestal that I definitely don’t deserve. Then, you compare me to being some kind of sin. You know what? Forget it!"
She turns, heads toward the table in the corner and begins to stuff her clothes into her bag.
