“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes, it does.”
“It doesn’t. That would make him bi or pan.”
“Or,” Emma said, stroking Cameron’s stubbly chin, “he’s confused. That’s my guess. I don’t think he knows he’s gay or is willing to admit it yet.”
“Well,” I said, opening the door, “at least that means he’s probably not one of those guys beating their chests while toxically braying about being masculine.” That was what I hoped—but I didn’t really know Walker. I’d only seen him a few times on campus, and he did indeed have a girlfriend.
Soon, we were all walking toward the house that looked completely over the top and there were already kids and cars everywhere. When we got near the entrance, we found cardboard arrows on thin metal sticks poking up out of the ground to guide us around to the back of the home. As we made our way around, I thought about Walker having a girlfriend but being gay. Was Emma right? And how could shetell? I felt sorry for his girlfriend if it was true, and then I wondered if we could really truly know the person we were dating.
But, yes…I knew Jason. I knew his heart. Surely, he wasn’t lying to me about anything. I knew I’d never lied to him. There was no reason to.
When we got in the backyard—at least three times the size of my parents’—I spotted a platform where the guys were setting up. There were huge trees around the perimeter of the yard and closer by there were bushes decorated with blue fairy lights, making it seem festive and magical. Somehow it made the air feel a little cooler, but I knew that was just my imagination.
I told Emma, “Be right back.” She and Cameron were headed toward the cluster of kids on the patio where I imagined they might find beverages, possibly illegal because of our age. But I wanted to see my boyfriend.
When I got close, I called him by name and, when he turned around, his face lit up—happy to see me, reflecting the joy in my own heart. I couldn’t help but dash the rest of the way, and he pulled me into an embrace, picking me up so that my feet no longer touched the ground and swirling me around as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages.
After he set me on my feet, he kissed me like I was a glass of water and he was dying of dehydration. It was intoxicating. I didn’t want to think of anything except this perfect moment.
When his lips left mine, I asked, “When are you guys going to get started?”
“Soon. Walker said we should technically be done by seven so we don’t get in trouble with the cops for violating the noise ordinance.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He said one of their neighbors is pretty cool, because he hangs out with their son sometimes, but the people on the other side are, like, assholes. He said the guy’s a grumpy old judge, so he doesn’t want to piss him off.”
Touching my forehead to his, I asked, “Do his parents know he’s having this party?”
“I doubt it. He’s got whiskey here.”
I raised my eyebrows before Jason kissed me again and then I heard Mark’s voice behind Jason. “Dude, you gonna make us finish setting up your drum kit without you?”
“Sorry. My girlfriend’s hard to resist.” He hugged me tight and then gazed into my eyes. “I’m all yours after we play.”
Mark had overheard, closer now, and said, “You mean after we put shit away.”
“Yeah. That’s what I said.” Jason winked at me, his blue eyes peeking through long, light lashes, and let go.
“I can’t wait to watch you guys play!” I said, turning around to find my bestie and her boyfriend approaching—without drinks.
It wasn’t long before Walker roused the growing crowd of kids at his house, and I wondered briefly if all of them went to Central or if he had kids from all over Pueblo here. Some faces didn’t seem familiar, so I wouldn’t have been surprised. As we all gathered around the stage as if we were at a concert, I hoped the guys wouldn’t feel nervous now thatthey were playing for more people than just a couple of drooling girlfriends.
Soon I’d discover that I loved seeing them play for an audience more than I would have realized. That night, I could envision the band they would become. I imagined them looking a little older, perhaps slightly more confident, on a bigger stage with more people watching…but this was like a glimpse into the future.
As they started playing the first tune, it took me a second to recognize what it was. Since spending time with Jason, I was learning about all his favorite bands, and this was a song they’d played many times. Then I remembered that it was a cover of an old Bullet for My Valentine song. Jason had played the original track for me multiple times, and I liked how his band had made it their own while keeping it recognizable.
The kids in the crowd went crazy, probably because they knew the song. And that was all it took to reel them all in.
As the show went on, I first noticed the cheerleader who’d been talking about Jason earlier in the week—and then I saw something else.
Lotsof girls in the front row, all but drooling and losing their minds over the performing band. And the jealousy, much like a physical entity in my chest, rose up again.
Who could blame the girls, though? Even though these guys were high school students, we could easily tell the men they were becoming and each guy was good-looking in his own right. Making this kind of art only made them look even better. So I tried to keep my possessiveness tampeddown. Jason had askedmeto the prom, not the other way around—and he hadn’t asked any other girls. He’d wanted me maybe even more than I wanted him.
After they finished playing one of their original songs, Kage said, “Now we’re gonna do something a little different.” I had no idea what it could be because this wasn’t something they’d done in practice.
