Cody nods. "It’s not my way. It’s ours."
With those words, an uneasy peace is restored. The air changes. It feels charged and new, edgy and alive.
The moment they both play their first notes, it’s not silent anymore. It’s the furthest thing from silent, and it quietens my unwanted memories and is enough to keep me here, at least for now.
six
. . .
Norrie
‘The Underground’is heaving, everybody has heard about the new band debuting tonight and wants to see them. It’s the same reason I’ve not been able to keep anything in my stomach since lunchtime.
Outside, the excitement spills onto the street, it’s like a throbbing beat. This all feels like a dare we’ve been stupid enough to take. I catch the others in the corner of my eye. Ruby’s quiet, but focused, going over the notes in her head fingers playing on a pretend keyboard in front of her. Otis is vibrating, his sticks twirling in the air as he flicks them constantly. Sebastian tunes his guitar, making sure the precious instrument is ready for what he’s about to do. Cody nervously pulls on his leather jacket, his neck cracking as his head bobs to a beat only he can hear in his mind.
“Let’s go,” I say, steady but feeling wired.
No one replies. It seems that every time any of usperforms at this club it descends into a fight. I think even the owner was sceptical when we asked to play as a band. We all know what we could be walking into, but maybe this time, the outcome will be different.
We make our way onto the stage. There’s an all-pervading atmosphere of sweat and tension around us. Nobody quite knows what to expect, including us.
There’s a woman near the back, lips bright red and glass of wine in hand. She looks like danger. At first, I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s out of place, and then I realise who she is—Lydia Scott, a music agent. She’s trying to look casual, but I can tell she’s fired up, waiting to see if we’ll fly or burn.
Ruby steps up to her mic. She’s wrapped in black leather in stark contrast with her vibrant red hair, and her fingers are placed over the keyboard ready for the signal to start. I know her story. I was there I saw it. She’s come so far, and she’s still got more healing to do, but she will get there in the end. Every time she sings and plays another sliver of her past dies.
Otis takes the seat at his drums, sticks ready and determination on his face. He knows, like the rest of us, this is his last chance. Sink or swim. Prison will probably be his only other option.
Cody and Sebastian stand together, united for the first time in years, just as brothers should be. It doesn’t mean they won’t try to outplay each other during this set, but that’s a good thing. Their bitter feud has been replaced by healthy competition, at least for tonight.
And then there’s me. I take my mic in hand as the lights filter down to bathe me in the spotlight. I’ve longed for this moment for forever.
Now is the time.
“I watched you walk into the dark
No goodbye, no last remark
Left me drowning in the flood
Of broken dreams and dried-up blood
Ashes in the bed we burned
Love’s a lesson I never learned
Now I haunt these empty halls
With your ghost behind the walls”
The lyric’s of the first verse are just a whisper. The title, ‘Still Breathing’, is a metaphor for the band.
Otis sets the tempo with fast, primal beats, then Ruby chimes in with her backing vocals and melodic keyboard sounds.
No fights. No fear.
We launch.
Cody hits his first riff like it owes him something. It probably does. He's got that raw edge that Sebastian’s never had, a desperate hunger. They’re brothers, sure, but Cody is fire to Sebastian’s ice.
