‘You don’t believe me, do you?’ said Tessa, the 11s between her brow deepening. ‘That the purple drinks are hexed. And just the purple ones, which is why I’m fine, and you’re fine, and Alana’s fine.’
Effie hesitated. She glanced around the room, taking in the odd but deeply human sights. Winston and Gerald were sitting beneath the darts board, cheerfully whittling away at chunks of wood. Willamina was staring in deep fascination at the plant wall, marvelling aloud about how on earth plastic plants could grow so well. In one corner, Terrance the barista was tearing up a pack of playing cards one by one.
‘I’m free!’ he shouted, as he scattered the pieces over the table. ‘Memorizethis!’
And at the far end of the bar, Freddie Noonan had placed some squares of AstroTurf on the counter and was investigating them with a magnifying glass.
‘I’m done with lawn,’ he sobbed, pulling out his prized blue ribbon from his pocket and attempting to light it with a cigarette lighter.
‘I’ll take that,’ said Bonnie, grabbing the lighter from him. ‘And the AstroTurf as well.’
Meanwhile, Winston and Gerald had taken up in the games room and were playing ten pins with empty beer bottles. Bonnie’s new bartender, Clark, had to run in andstop them before everyone ended up dancing about on broken glass.
‘You truly think this is normal?’ pressed Tessa.
All right, so the townsfolk were being a tad dramatic and performative. But assuming that Tessa was right, that meant that Bonnie had somehow got her hands on a huge amount of hexed cocktails, or she’d made them herself. Which, knowing Bonnie’s wayward magic, was impossible. The whole bar would’ve burned down if she’d been spending her time bespelling drinks. Bonnie could barely hex the wrinkles out of a wool shirt.
Besides, bars weren’t places where people went to be normal. Even Effie, whose malbec had gone straight to her head, was feeling less inhibited than usual. Another few glasses, and maybe she’d be the one tearing up playing cards.
‘The townsfolk are always like this, and the tourists are even worse,’ Effie said stubbornly. ‘Tell me you’ve seen any of this lot in the library recently.’
Tessa took a fortifying sip of bubbly. ‘Wow, Effie. You know that e-books exist, right? And that people can access the entire library through their phones now? And that as much as I revere the library as an institution – and that I out-read you during three of our high-school read-a-thons—’
‘Because you read shorter books,’ pointed out Effie.
Tessa gave one of her famous huffs, which Effie knew meant she was treading on thin ice. Tessa was a fair person, but she was also fiery, and every now and then she’d turn that fire on Effie.
‘Yes, because of that, but who cares! They weren’tworsebecause they were shorter. They were still books! And you’re proving my point! Knowledge doesn’t just disappear outside the hallowed reading room.’ Tessa sipped her drink. ‘Look, all I’m asking is that you look around,without judgement, without thinking that you know better than everyone, and tell me what you think.’
Effie folded her arms. ‘I’m not judgemental. Bonnie’s the judgemental one!’
Tessa cackled in disbelief. ‘Effie. You’re in a fight with Bonnie purely because of pride. Until it was proven otherwise, you assumed Theo’s poetry books were hollow cases stuffed with cocaine and gold ingots. And then there was what you said about my studio the other day. You really don’t think I have an intense set of financial projections? Sure, I walk dogs now, but I’m a CPA! I’ve been biting my tongue because I know it’s been a difficult year for you, but you have to do something with this chip on your shoulder before you push everyone away. Including me. Because I have a right to spend time with other people, even if you don’t think those people are good enough. After all,youget to spend all your free time with Theo, and I don’t get a say in that. You know I would’ve helped with the overdues ridealong if you’d asked more than five minutes beforehand.’
Effie didn’t know how to take this. Tessa hadalwaysbeen there, and Effie couldn’t imagine a world where she wouldn’t be. They’d written letters to the Tooth Fairy when they’d lost their first teeth and had each worn thick sanitary pads in solidarity when the other had got their first period. They’d got their driver’s licences together, signed up to vote together, attended their first protests together.
Effie’s heart twisted. ‘I’m sorry, Tessa. I didn’t—’
‘Because you never listen!’ interrupted Tessa. ‘I love you, Effie, but mygod! I’ve never met someone so self-involved. Soself-important!’
Effie’s malbec was virtually empty, but she took a final valiant sip. These weren’t accusations that should be levelled ather. These were the things they always accused Bonnie of! Bonnie of the too-long showers and the always-open doors and the endless parade of men that she tossed aside, leaving Effie to make them an awkward post-sleepover omelette in the morning.
‘I just wish you’d take me seriously when I say that something is up,’ Tessa said quietly. Then, to Effie’s extreme surprise, she grabbed one of the purple cocktails from the Quizotics’ trivia group table – to a rousing chorus of cheers – and chugged it.
She slammed the empty glass back on the table and dabbed her mouth with a napkin. ‘There. Cursed drink, straight down the hatch. Come check on me in an hour or so.’
Bonnie’s eyes widened. Tessa must be fully behind her conspiracy theory if she was going to put herself at risk by trying one of Bonnie’s apparently tainted drinks. Clutching her empty glass, she returned to the bar, surreptitiously glancing around at the other patrons. A group of college kids were playing a game of Uno and arguing over the rules, which apparently were extremely complicated and difficult to remember. Out on the patio, a woman was screaming at a robotic voice on loudspeaker, bellowing thatno, she didn’t know her PIN, and could she speak to a...what do you call it, please! By the back wall, Winston Wakefield and Gerald Ho, who’d been kicked out of the games room after the unconscionable ten-pins behaviour, were sitting quietly, batting an agate coaster back and forth.
The coaster.It was just like the ones she’d seen at Uncle Oswald’s shop. And they were all over the bar. Under every pitcher, every glass, every plate of brownies.
Effie’s stomach churned, and not just from the extremely dry wine she’d chugged. (She should’ve stuck to the cheerful pinot grigios or effervescent rosés she actually liked, but she wanted to impress Bonnie, to suggest that the librarian life she lived wasn’t so sheltered after all. That she was cultured, even if she’d stolen that culture from Theo.)
Alana, who’d just arrived and was still in her yoga clothes – and yet somehow looked more put together than Effie – picked her way over. Her brow was furrowed.
‘Effie, do you know what’s going on with Tessa?’ Sheturned, pointing at Tessa, who had found an empty spot and was swaying in place, completely out of time with the 90s bops playing over the sound system. Tessa was less of a dancer than Effie was, and Effie had never seen her voluntarily hit the dance floor. Never mindstartthe dance floor.
Now Sabine had joined her, swirling away in a profusion of garments, like a slow-moving pinwheel. Effie felt a pang. She hadn’t seen Sabine arrive, but even so, why hadn’t Sabine come up to say hello?
‘Effie!’ Alana grabbed Effie’s arm and shook. ‘I swear she has amnesia or something. Do you think someone spiked her drink? She didn’t know me.Me. Her girlfriend.’
