The sun had set, and with only the moon lighting the twilight sky; Johan lit two lamps to brighten the dim room. He left one for the elves and took the other before pointing to himself and up at the ceiling to try to explain that he was going upstairs. He couldn’t imagine that the elves would feel safe or comfortable with him looming over them.
Both elves nodded in understanding. “Thank you,” Henrik and Elias said at the same time.
Upstairs, Johan pottered around, restlessly cleaning and tidying his home as he fretted about the two elves in his workshop. He’d only been up there for an hour, though, when it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn’t offered them anything to eat or drink, and he smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand, annoyed at himself for the grievous error. His mother would turn in her grave if she knew he’d been so remiss.
Not wasting any more time, Johan located his bag from the market and pulled out the small loaf of bread and wedge of cheese. He cut two pieces of bread and placed some thinly sliced cheese on top, assuming that, given how they had been living, eating too much at once would probably upset their stomachs.
Johan took the stairs quietly so as not to startle them, food on a small wooden tray in one hand and his oil lamp in the other. He knocked gently on the door to his workshop but got no response, so he eventually poked his head in.
The two elves were curled up together on the mattress, nose to nose as they slept. Johan wasn’t entirely sure why he was surprised by what he saw. He knew, though, he was witnessing something extremely intimate that wasn’t for his eyes and immediately felt guilty for intruding.
As quietly and quickly as he could, Johan placed the tray of food on a small table near their mattress in the hopes that mice wouldn’t come looking for it and filled up two cups of the home-brewed beer from the barrel in the corner of the room. When he returned to place the cups on the table, Henrik’s eyes were wide, staring at Johan with guilt and fear written all over his face.
Johan placed the cups down and held his hands up in a gesture he hoped told Henrik that everything was okay. He smiled and pointed to the food and then to the two of them, and Henrik audibly swallowed before thanking Johan in a whisper.
With a final glance at the sweet elves, Johan made his way back up the stairs before helping himself to a little food and climbing into bed.
He tossed and turned for a while and found himself blushing when he thought of the way the two of them lay together, a tangle of limbs.
Johan knew enough about the world to understand that there were men who lay together, even if people didn’t talk about it much. He knew, for example, that the baker and his wife had some kind of arrangement where she spent her nights with Miss Klein, the local teacher, and he frequented one of the alehouses that was infamous for the rooms they kept upstairs with young men available as “companions” for an evening.
One thing Johan had learned to appreciate over his life was that, despite his difficulties with speaking in public and to strangers, his quiet nature meant he often went unnoticed. It was as though people thought he couldn’t hear, either, their secrets spilling from their lips all around him.
Johan never did anything with the information he acquired; he merely enjoyed observing people and their relationships, even as he longed for one of his own.
The ache he felt at seeing Henrik and Elias together was a confusing one. He knew he had no right to feel envious of the comfort they got from each other—people who had endured what they must have deserved all the comfort they could find inthis life—but the ember of envy was alive in his stomach all the same.
The confusion came from a second feeling, one that almost made his heart swell like he could take his own contentment just from seeing them together. It was a strange sensation, and one that Johan decided he would shove to one side for the time being as he couldn’t quite decipher what it meant.
Sleep evaded him, and he spent a long time pondering his situation. He had very little money even for himself, and now that he’d taken on providing food and shelter for two others, he needed to come up with a plan. For once, though, the thought of needing to improve his prospects had some fire behind it. Rather than just a heavy, daunting burden, he felt motivated, and he was fairly sure that he had Elias and Henrik to thank for that.
Four
Elias
E
lias stirred, momentarily confused about his whereabouts. He was warm in a way that he hadn’t been since the summer, and it almost made him feel boneless. Reaching out a hand, Elias began to panic when he was met with an empty bed. Had the man, Johan was his name, done something to Henrik? He sat up quickly, searching for Henrik in the dimly lit room. The lamp was still burning on the workbench, illuminating a figure sitting before it. Elias relaxed at the familiar sight of Henrik’s silhouette.
“Rik?” he asked, still a little bleary-eyed from sleep.
Henrik turned suddenly, startled. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
Elias shook his head. “No, I think I’m just no longer used to sleeping alone.” He smiled sheepishly.
Henrik came to join him, sitting on the edge of the mattress and lifted something from the small table nearby.
“Here, you should eat something,” he said, passing some bread topped with cheese to Elias.
His stomach growled with interest, but Elias felt quite sick. However, when Henrik continued to stare at him encouragingly, he took a small bite and chewed for a while. When he swallowed, Henrik was already there holding out a cup of something for him to wash it down with. Elias couldn’t help but smile. At times, Henrik could be distant and frequently told Elias that his endless optimism made him want to gouge his own eyes out, but then, in moments like this, when Rik would act like a mother hen, Elias’ heart grew ten sizes.
“How come you aren’t sleeping?” Elias asked.
“I felt restless, and then I found some materials cut out to make a pair of shoes. Johan is a talented shoemaker, but his fingers and thumbs are too large for them to be truly intricate,” Henrik explained matter-of-factly.
“You’re making them for him?”
“I thought that if he could see what I can make, he might be inclined to let us rest here for a little longer,” Henrik said softly. “Give us time to gain some strength before we decide where to go next.”
