Twenty-Two
Johan
J
ohan passed Elias his woolly hat before grabbing his own. Despite the blue sky and the sun shining, the temperature had dropped significantly, and the ground had been covered in a glittering frost that morning.
It was a good day for them to try and talk because Johan was feeling more relaxed than he had in weeks, and his words had been coming more freely than they usually did.
He led the way out the front door and took some water skins to fill up while they were by the stream. Elias followed cautiously. Johan could tell he was nervous, and he didn’t enjoy the way Elias had been walking on eggshells around him.
At least ten minutes had passed by the time Elias finally broke the silence. A record if there ever was one.
“I told myself a lie,” he said.
Johan waited for him to go on.
“I told myself I’d kill those men because then they couldn’t hurt other elves, but that wasn’t true. The reality is that those men were replaced within the day, and I killed them because Iwas angry. I killed them because I wanted revenge, and I made sure you couldn’t stop me because if anyone could have, it would have been you.”
Johan was oddly relieved to discover that Elias had actually taken the time to examine his decisions that night.
“I don’t know if I would have tried to stop you or not.”
Elias nodded in understanding.
“I’m not sure if my words hold much weight to you right now, but for what it is worth.” Elias gulped loudly before continuing. “I promise that I will never use magic on you again without your consent, Johan. I cannot pretend to regret the deaths of those men, but I have come to realise that I do regret what I did to you. I understand that I broke your trust, and I really hope you will give me a chance to earn it back.”
With the hand not holding the water skins, Johan reached over and wrapped an arm around Elias’ shoulders, tugging him into his side and squeezing.
Truthfully, Johan had been trying to find a way to make peace with Elias without an apology because he’d been certain that what happened that night was a hill Elias would be prepared to die on.
Johan wasn’t and had never been an angry man. He’d battled every day with his hurt feelings towards Elias, tried to will them to disappear. Tried to force his heart to forgive the little elf, but the wound Elias had created had refused to close.
Johan felt it closing now, though. Felt his anger and hurt begin to fade at the acknowledgement that Elias knew he’d been wrong to make that choice.
“When I woke up and you were gone, I got to you as quickly as I could. And when I saw you crumpled on the street, I… I thought you were dead. You… you aren’t an island. If you’d died that day, we’d have died that day. You don’t get to… to leave us behind.”
Johan had to take his arm back in order to wipe where his eyes were leaking.
They’d just stepped through the tree line and made their way towards the stream where they collected their fresh drinking water from. Elias took a seat on a large mossy rock that lined the bank.
“Sit with me?” Elias asked.
Johan did, although clearly Elias felt they weren’t close enough, because he clambered onto Johan’s lap, clasped their hands together, and pressed his forehead to Johan’s.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“I know.” Johan gently pushed a few strands of Elias’ hair out of his face and tucked them back into his hat.
“Are we going to be okay?” A single tear ran down Elias’ cheek.
Johan nodded before kissing Elias firmly on the lips. He melted in his arms like butter in the sun, his lips parting for Johan and welcoming him like they always did.
Elias whimpered, and Johan swallowed the sound, kissing him more wildly than he ever had before. Feverish hands tugged at Johan’s shirt, and he helped Elias remove it before ridding Elias of his own clothes.
Johan kissed the breadth of Elias’ chest, licking and sucking on his nipples, which were peaked from the cold air.
“Beautiful,” he whispered into his lover’s skin.
