Johan sat up from where he’d been trying to take a short nap before they left for the night and gave Henrik a judgemental look.
“What?” Henrik snapped defensively.
“You pick at him,” Johan said sleepily.
Shame swarmed Henrik like an itchy blanket. He knew Johan was right, but it was as though he couldn’t stop himself. When scared and stressed, he took it out on Elias, and in the moment, it felt justified. Elias almost always took the bait, and their arguments would make Henrik feel less frightened for a while, giving him something else to focus on.
Elias and Johan never argued, Henrik was clearly the problem. Henrik felt like the diseased limb of their relationship and was sure they’d be better off without him.
Johan got up despite only having napped for around an hour and went in search of Elias since Henrik was too much of a coward to mend his own hurt.
Most of their belongings were at the cabin now. Henrik guessed that two more nights of this and everything they planned to take would be gone, and then would come the hard part.
Building a home and a life.
Henrik mindlessly stuffed various belongings into his bag until it was splitting at the seams and waited for Johan and Elias to return so they could set off.
Their walk that night was a silent one, and it suffocated Henrik. Why was it that he would criticise Elias for his inability to remain quiet yet despise it when he was? Elias couldn’t win with Henrik, and he hated himself for it.
A deep frown marred Johan’s features for the duration of their trek through the Dark Forest. Henrik knew how it affected Johan when he and Elias argued, and it was one more thing for Henrik to self-flagellate over.
The three of them put one miserable foot in front of the other, and it was all Henrik’s fault they felt so terrible.
When they finally arrived at the cabin and added the rest of their belongings, the small space was full to bursting. Theyhadn’t been organising anything, just dropping stuff off and leaving again, and now they could hardly fit themselves inside.
Elias dumped his bag on the floor and immediately left again without a word. Johan had a pained expression as he watched Elias’ retreating back.
“What if I don’t go back with you tonight?” Henrik suggested.
Johan frowned in confusion.
“There’s not much left to bring and someone needs to sort through all this so there’s actually space for us to sleep until we can build. I can spend tomorrow clearing the space and making room. Elias doesn’t want to be around me right now anyway.”
Henrik knew that Elias could hear him even from outside and it stung that Elias didn’t disagree, not that he could blame him.
Johan stepped into Henrik’s space and tipped his chin up with his thumb and forefinger, searching his eyes for something.
“Are you sure?” Johan asked.
Henrik had a ball of emotion in his throat that prevented him from answering so he just nodded.
Johan kissed him softly on the lips before peppering them all over Henrik’s face.
“We’ll miss you,” he said.
“Don’t speak for me,” Elias snapped from the doorway.
Johan dropped his hands from Henrik and sighed.
“I wonder if you’ll realise when you’re all alone here that it is, in fact, you who aggravates you so much.”
Elias glowered, and the words landed like a punch to Henrik’s chest. They frequently sniped at each other, but Elias was rarely mean. Rarely spoke with the intention to hurt Henrik rather than wind him up a little.
Despite suggesting it himself, Henrik didn’t look forward to the time alone. It had been over a year since he’d been away from Elias for more than a few hours, and the prospect was nauseating.
Johan held up a finger for him to wait and then left, tugging Elias behind him. They must have walked quite far because Henrik couldn’t make out what they were saying.
When they returned, Elias still had a stubborn set to his jaw but said, “You don’t have to remain here on my account.”
