Eventually, Henrik cut through the silence by whispering, “Eli, there’s something I must confess to you. Only, I’m scared you will hate me, and I couldn’t bear that.”
Despite his empty stomach, Elias suddenly felt quite sick, but Henrik only clung to him more tightly. He fought back against the icy dread that tried to spread through him.
“Wh-what is it?” Elias forced out, knowing that delaying whatever Henrik had to tell him would only drag out his suffering.
“Can I ask you a question first?”
Elias didn’t like that one bit, preferring Henrik get to the point, but he managed to say, “Okay…”
“Do you think it’s possible to… to love… more than one person?”
Elias was surprised to find that Henrik’s question melted away most of the panic that had been churning in his stomach. He’d seen how Henrik and Johan looked at one another, and he would be a liar if he didn’t at least admit to himself that he’d also been admiring Johan. Had in fact bloomed under the shoemaker’s warmth.
Johan was… steady. And solid. In a way that Elias and Henrik were not. Elias often felt like the two of them were feathers that might lose each other if a strong wind blew them up into the sky. But with Johan, it was like he’d safely store the feathers in his pocket, and Elias didn’t have to worry about any of them getting lost. Because Johan looked after his belongings, he wouldn’t misplace them or treat them as replaceable.
“Eli?” Emotion laced Henrik’s voice, and Elias realised he’d been lost in his thoughts for too long.
“I think Johan is hard not to love,” Elias answered.
Henrik audibly inhaled, evidently shocked by the response. “How—how did you… how?” he stammered.
Elias turned to face him. It was still predawn and so dim in the workshop that he could make out little except for his lover’s eyes. He reached out and found Henrik’s hair, tucking the long strands behind his ear before cupping his cheek.
“I love you, Rik. Too much, I think sometimes. But… you and Johan understand each other in a way that you and I do not.” Henrik opened his mouth to interrupt him, but Elias continued on. “We’ve been through too much, and we lean on one another even when the other cannot bear the weight. But Johan can bear our weight… I think.”
“You feel for him, too?” Henrik whispered.
“I… When I really consider it, I suppose that I do, yes. He is attractive in a rugged sort of way, but I don’t think that’s it. He makes me feel like I could launch every disastrous, broken part of me at him and he would… treasure it all. Take care of it all. It doesn’t lessen what I feel for you. It’s just different, I think.”
Henrik lowered his gaze like eye contact with Elias just then was painful. “I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to bear the weight for you, Eli. I wish so much that I could. But… these last few years have changed me. I fear I won’t ever be truly strong again.” Henrik’s voice cracked with emotion, and Elias wrapped his arms tightly around him.
“Maybe we won’t have to be. Maybe we just need someone else to share the burden.”
“What if Johan doesn’t care for us, the way we care for him?”
Elias pondered that thought for a while, letting ideas seed and sprout in his mind.
“I think we just have to show him what we can offer him in return. Show him what it means to be loved by an elf. There are two of us after all, that’s a lot of love to give, Rik.”
“Johan would be lucky to be loved by you, Eli. I know that I am.”
Elias kissed him and poured his heart into it all the while his brain began buzzing with plans and ideas for how they could woo their lovely, big, and strong shoemaker.
Twelve
Johan
H
enrik and Elias had been behaving very strangely ever since they’d all returned from their visit to the sorcerer to remove the elves’ magic-suppressing bangles. So much so that Johan was mildly concerned that he’d missed something much more significant taking place during the exchange.
Yesterday evening, after they’d closed up the shop, Elias had insisted upon giving Johan a haircut and beard trim, claiming that he must “Stop hiding his handsome face from the world.” Johan had been grateful then for his beard because it hid the bright red flush that had warmed his cheeks. Afterwards, when he’d stared at his reflection in the mirror that was now clear thanks to some tinkering magic from Henrik, Johan had admitted that he did look far smarter and more like the true business owner he aspired to be.
Today, however, the elves were taking it in turns to assist Johan in the shop while the other would disappear off into the workshop. When they’d swap, they had a disconcerting habit of sneaking glances at him and whispering to one another. Not ina mean way. Johan wasn’t concerned that they were conspiring against him, but still in a way that left him a little on edge.
At lunchtime, he closed the shop and made his way into the workshop to pour himself a drink, only, when he tried to open the door, it appeared to be locked, which was especially suspicious because Johan didn’t have a lock on his workshop door.
Without many options, he knocked and waited. There was the sound of some shuffling and wood scraping before Elias called out, “Just a minute.”
