“Why I wanted Ramona.”
He shot me a glare. “I did, actually.”
I shook my head, feeling more settled now that he was scowling at me again. “You asked why I bought a horse. Not the same thing.”
It was semantics, and I was reaching, but I was rewarded by a frustrated huff. This, I understood. I could deal with this.
“You said it wasn’t any of my business,” he ground out. It sounded like he was clenching his teeth. I fought a smirk.
“See, when I was a kid, my life was…” No, I didn’t want to get into that. “Not like it is now. But the summer I was eight, my father sent me to spend two weeks with a friend.”
It was a friend of a friend, someone he hadn’t even really known, actually. And it could have been a really bad situation. So much could have gone wrong. But my father needed me gone and this was the only solution available at the time. I was lucky it turned out as well as it had.
Hawk made a noise I took as encouragement, so I continued with the tale. “It was the best two weeks of my life. Hands down. Nothing compared. And they had a horse. A perfectly majestic snowflake appaloosa. She was the sweetest thing I’d ever met. And she let me hang out in her pasture and just be. She followed me everywhere I walked. I told her all my secrets and she never judged me. For the first time I felt normal. Like I wasn’t a burden or—”
I stopped short. I hadn’t intended to get that deep. When I started the story, I was just hoping to share a fun anecdote about why the coloring of my horse meant so much. I knew it wasn’t the same horse. Couldn’t be. I looked for her years ago and found out she passed, as all animals do eventually. I wasn’t trying to recreate her. That was impossible. But I wanted to honor her. And have a physical, tangible reminder.
“She was your solace,” Hawk murmured, his tone free of any of its usual snark or derision.
“Yeah.”
A beat of silence, then he asked, “What was her name?”
“Athena.”
“Good name.” Hawk took a breath, and his tone was gentle when he said, “You know you can’t make a new Athena, right?”
And because he hadn’t been accusatory or rude, I didn’t go on the offensive. “I know. I’m not trying to. I want Ramona to be who and what she is. But, you know, since Ramona looks like her, it’s a reminder. Just looking at her brings me peace.”
Hawk stared at me for a long moment. “We should probably head back. You’re gonna be sore as hell as it is. We’ll go around.”
I blinked, surprised by the change in topic, but reined Niko around to follow Hawk down a side path that would presumably take us back to the barns. Once again, we rode in silence, and I didn’t even dare glance at him.
It was only when the barns were in sight that Hawk spoke again. “You’re not bad. Not good, but not bad. We can work with it. You and Ramona will be a great team by the time we’re done.”
Then Humphrey started to jog, and Niko kept up. I bounced in the saddle and had to focus on my heels. I slipped sideways once, but righted myself quickly. When I dismounted, I felt bow-legged and shaky.
“We’ll save after care and cool down for another day. Let me know when you’re planning to stop by again.” Hawk took Niko’s reins and led both horses into the barn.
I was left to stare after them, summarily dismissed. But I was a bit shaken. Mentally that was. I wasn’t exactly sure what just happened. And I had half a mind to yell at Hawk for sending me away without fanfare or a proper goodbye.
But I should probably process all this first so I limped to the car. I’d call and have it out with him tomorrow.
Chapter 7
Hawk
So now I knew Carter’s secret. Because it had clearly been one, given how he’d taken his time to share it with me. I could understand that. He didn’t know me at all, and vice versa. Hell, I still knew him only marginally better than I knew his PA.
Since Tommy was loitering in the barn when I sent Carter on his way, I gave Niko to him to take back to the stock barn. The boy was a hard worker, but I also knew he had a crush on me and that was a bit tricky to maneuver around. He beamed every time I gave him a task to do which meant that he’d do his best to do well, but still. It was… awkward. For me, because I would never let him know I knew about his feelings. I wasn’t going to humiliate him with that, not when I would also then have to let him down gently.
Jesus, I could remember my first real crushes. You were so fragile with emotions in your teens. I would never hurt Tommyon purpose. The kid had enough on his plate already working for us part time to support his mom and siblings after his dad, one of our hands, passed away.
I gave Humphrey a good brushing, given that I’d interrupted his leisurely post-exercise afternoon with more exercise. Not that I could claim that the slow stroll on the trail was anything like work to him.
Now I knew where Carter was in his horsemanship. I’d need to treat him like a newbie, but I’d also learned why he wanted Ramona in particular, I couldn’t help but to feel my initial annoyance fading a little.
The context clues were there. I was good at listening and reading people.
