He leans back onto the flats of his hands, his lithe body stretched out, his head dropping back as he looks up at the sky. “My father expects me to step into his shoes at the printer. My mother expects me to start courting. And soon. And the only one who ever asks what I want is the one person who can’t give it to me.”
“Who’s that?”
“Our housekeeper.” He winces as his gaze settles on me, wariness there.
I shake my head before he can utter another apology for something he has no control over. “You love her.”
“I do. So very much. If I could, I would live with Catherine in the country and be content to simply…be.”
His melancholic smile is both sad and lovely. It plucks at my heartstrings, making me long to give him that very thing. To be a part of it. Even as the notion is utter insanity.
“Could I join you there?” I jest, regardless of the impossibility. “Me and my mother both.”
Jasper turns to me, gaze serious, his cupid lips a bright contrast against his fair skin. “Yes. You would be most welcome, Abraham.”
I pull in a breath, facing the water flowing gently past our feet. It sparkles blue in the sunlight, the color muddied over the shallow, stony bed. “Would you like to swim now?” I ask before other words can escape my mouth.
His smile is soft and sweet. “I would.”
I stand, and Jasper does the same. His eyes go wide in a way he can’t quite conceal when I pull my shirt from beneath the band of my breeches and tug it over my head. His mouth parts, and I take my time, folding the material before setting it on the ground. With Jasper’s eyes on me, I walk into the creek.
The water is cool as it runs over my toes, mud seeping upwards with each step I take. Stones press against the soles of my feet, but they’re small enough not to hurt. Jasper has yet to move an inch when I stop at the deepest part of the creek, the water flowing over my knees.
“Are you joining me?” I ask.
He swallows, the motion visible in his slender neck. His eyes dart back and forth quickly, likely checking to make sure we’re alone, before he reaches for the buttons on his waistcoat. I try not to watch him undress, but it’s a hard-fought battle I lose in the end. Jasper removes his waistcoat, revealing the whole of his shirt, more finely tailored than my own. He toys with the material at his waist before tugging it free as I did. I do my best not to think of the single layer of clothing now covering his prick. Jasper is slow to lift his shirt over his head, and I force my eyes away before he can notice the sharpness of mygaze. Even still, the sight of that slim stomach and flat chest is a vision now seared into my mind.
I let myself drop into the water, floating along the surface, the burbling creek moving gently beneath me. In my periphery, I can see Jasper taking a moment to set his clothes flat. He approaches, a small whoosh of air leaving his lungs as he steps into the water.
There’s nothing remotely untoward about two men taking a dip together. But the direction of my own private thoughts is forbidden. I know as much. If anyone were to find out…
I don’t want to consider it.
The only opinion that truly matters to me is Jasper’s. What would he think? Would he hate me? Condemn me for my nature?
“Feel good?” I ask, my head turning lazily to track my companion, water filling my ear.
Jasper smiles, his hair brilliant in the sun, his skin calling to me in a way I’m unsure if I’ll ever be able to act on. “Yes. I haven’t done this in a very long time.”
“You’ve come to this spot before?”
He gives a quick shake of his head. “Not here, no. Although I prefer this spot over the creek I played in when I was young. It’s far more…secluded.”
I hum, sitting up as Jasper closes the distance between us. He lowers himself carefully, a stuttered exhalation leaving his lips as the water rushes up to his belly button.
“Whoo.”
I laugh at his bark of surprise, and Jasper’s smile widens. In a show of supreme playfulness, he splashes water my way. I feign offense, waiting for him to lower his guard before returning the favor. He sputters a laugh, water dripping down his face that he wipes away. Slowly, he flattens onto his front,head above the surface as he lets the shallow water run over his body.
There’s a fierce tug in my chest as I watch him. An ache to run my hand along the soft swell of his back. To curl my arm around him and hold him to me, keeping him afloat, keeping him close.
It makes no rational sense to long for this man when I know my cravings can be satiated much closer to home. Safely. And discreetly.
But I’ve never wanted another as fiercely as I want Jasper. I desire toknowhim. To see a lifetime of his smiles. How wonderfully light would my world be?
It’s foolish, utter nonsense, to consider testing his trust. But I can feel it approaching, like a compulsion, a knowledge deep in my core. I won’t be able to resist forever.
He’s the sweetest forbidden fruit. And I yearn to know his taste on my tongue.
