He takes his time to answer, the heat in his gaze not of my imagination. “I would want to kiss you.”
My voice comes out at a whisper. “So do that.”
Lee’s eyes hold mine for so long, I expect him to turn away. He doesn’t. His hand comes up to run slowly over my jaw, a brush downward before his fingers trail up again. Goose bumps erupt over my skin as he hooks me, holds me, his thumb near my ear.
The first press of his lips to mine is so soft I barely feel it. I don’t breathe, waiting for it to come again. It does. Lee meets my mouth with a soft grunt I can feel in the pit of my stomach. He sucks in a breath, and I do the same, oxygen invading my lungs, the atoms of my body straining with the singular goal of getting closer to this man. The one I’ve waited for time and time again.
It’s one thing to know. And completely another tolive.
Lee draws back from the kiss on a gasping breath, his forehead pressing to mine. My hand is tangled in his shirt, his still on the side of my head. His voice is hoarse, rough, when he speaks. “Do you believe in fate, Caspian?”
I smile at the question returned to me. He must know the answer, but I give it still. “Yes. Do you?”
“I’m starting to.”
Chapter 33
Lee
I watch Caspian charm my coworkers, fellow teachers and administrative staff alike falling under his spell. We’re at the high school luncheon, the school closed to all but staff today as we learn the updates to our online grading system. Caspian joined us when we broke for food.
He’s not the youngest one here, but it’s close. The seven-year gap in our age feels large in number, and yet, there’s no denying Caspian is wise beyond his years. There’s an ancient sort of knowledge in his eyes, and I understand that now.
All he’s seen. All he’s lived through, even vicariously.
There’s a question I’ve yet to ask him, unsure if I’m prepared for the answer. He said he’s there in every vision. It’s him, somehow, even if it’s not.
It boggles my mind to even try to comprehend the why or how of it. But that’s not what I can’t bring myself to ask.
What did he say that one time? I assumed he was talking about my cardiac arrest, but now…
“I’ve seen you die so manytimes.”
I swallow down the boulder trying to lodge in my throat, offering a quick smile when Caspian looks my way. He says something to the group he’s talking to and heads in my direction, most everyone done with lunch now. Dessert is waiting nearby. Small pieces of chocolate cake and some rather concerningly pea-green gelatin.
“Hey.” Caspian’s voice is soft as he stops in front of me, not quite touching. I can tell he wants to. He’s been restraining himself ever since our kiss. Since before then, too.
I hold out my hand, and Caspian lights up. Our fingers tangle, my heart pounding so heavily I wonder if my device will record the anomaly.
“Hi,” I finally manage. “Are you utterly bored yet?”
“Not at all. Your colleagues are great. Did you know Emmeline taught physics at a collegiate level before moving here to be closer to her wife’s family? We exchanged numbers. She has some interesting insights on superfluid space-time that—what? Why are you smiling like that?”
I bring Caspian’s hand up, kissing the back of it, and he inhales a sharp breath. That hitch, the way his eyes flare and hold my own, has me repeating the motion—a soft press of lips to skin—before I let our hands drop. “I like learning who you are, is all.”
“And what are you learning?”
The breathlessness in his voice has me fighting a grin. “A few things actually. One: that you’re an absolute geek when it comes to space. And, apparently, I really like that. I like hearing you mumble about your work when you think I’m not paying attention. I like the way you get excited every time it comes up.”
He nods weakly, a gesturefor me to go on.
“Two: you’re quite fearless. I don’t know why that surprises me considering the way we met, but I find myself charmed all the same every time I see your bravery in action.”
He repeats the word quietly. “Charmed.”
“And three,” I continue, steeling myself. “I would be a fool to ignore all that simply because I felt…blindsided by your arrival in my life. To ignore how brave you’ve been with me. How your excitement makes me happy in turn. How I’m fairly certain I more than like you, and I don’t know what that means or where we go from here, but I know I don’t want you gone. That’s the last thing I want.”
Caspian’s smile grows slowly, a flower in the summer sun. “That third one was something about yourself, not me.”
