The unspokenushangs in the air. Because learning who Caspian is ensures there’s an us in some capacity, doesn’t it? Whether we become friends or…more, as Caspian put it.
I shake my head. “I didn’t expect you, Caspian Wilder. But I also didn’t expect to die at thirty-two, so there’s that.”
He winces, and I cover his hand with my own, squeezing gently.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s been an interesting few days. I’m fine. I promise.”
Caspian looks as if he wants to say something, but our waitress returns to take our order. When she goes, we’re back to staring at one another, the silence between us heavy. Caspian fidgets with the band on his wrist, the word “seizures” glaringly obvious now that I know what to look for.
“Do you have that for if you’re in public?” I ask. “So people know to leave you be?”
He nods, stopping his fidgeting.
“Is it dangerous to you? Having such frequent…episodes?”
Caspian shakes his head. “Apart from the occasional bump or bruise, no. They don’t cause any lasting damage.”
I nod, swallowing. The one he had in my kitchen wasn’t what I expected. He wasn’t seizing or convulsing. He barelymoved at all. It was like he passed out, except his eyes never fully shut.
“Suppose we make a fine pair, huh?” I joke. “Me with my heart defect. You with your…condition.”
He smiles, and it’s so soft and, fuck,knowingthat I have to glance away. My pulse is racing again, and I can’t tell if this is a Caspian effect or something else altogether. It’s almost a relief when our food arrives, offering me a distraction.
I unroll my silverware. “So what is it you want to do? Job-wise. Do you have a particular field of study you’re specialized in?”
Caspian hums, cutting into his pancakes. “I’m an astrophysicist.”
I drop my fork onto my plate, the clatter loud even amongst the din of the restaurant. Caspian watches me in amusement as I get my wits about me. “Fucking what?”
He laughs outright, looking incredibly smug at having caused such a reaction. “You heard me.”
“Jesus Christ. How?”
He answers before I’ve finished doing the math in my head. “I started college at seventeen and finished my graduate program a year early. Since then, I’ve been…busy.”
Looking for me.
I clear my throat. “So, uh…what do you plan to do here? As you might’ve noticed, we’re a fairly small town.”
His lips twitch. He’s enjoying this far too much. “I noticed. I’ll likely work remotely. I have an offer to participate in one of the global space initiatives.”
When I don’t say anything, Caspian looks up from his food.
“I’m sorry,” I say slowly before taking a full, deep breath. “Are you talking about colonization?”
He shrugs.Shrugs. As if it’s nobig deal.
“Jesus Christ,” I repeat, scrubbing my face.
“I can’t go up myself.” Caspian sounds dismayed by that fact. “The seizures preclude me from eligibility. As would your heart defect.”
I nod, although I certainly never had aspirations of going up into freaking space.
Caspian lets out a soft sigh, clearly not of the same mind as me. “But the first civilian mission is scheduled for ten years from now. And…I’d like to be a part of it. To help make it happen.”
“You’re going to help the first shuttle of humans settle in space?”
His smile is one I’m starting to recognize. It’s him knowing more than he should. It’s a secret. One he’s more than confident in. “Yes. I am.”
