Lee’s eyes trace over my face, as if trying to read me. To understand. “The start of what?”
My answer for him is simple, although it’s not simple at all.
“The first time I fell in love.”
Chapter 31
Lee
I watch Caspian as he sleeps, his hands tucked under the pillow at his cheek. I said he’d use the guest room, but when bedtime came, I couldn’t seem to let him go, not even so far as a few doors down the hall.
He didn’t question why I led him to my own room instead. Merely slipped under the covers and closed his eyes.
Is this a dream? Some fantasy I conjured inside my head? Am I lying unconscious on the forest floor? Dead?
I don’t think so. Moonlight bathes Caspian’s face in light, the flicker of it as clouds pass convincing me this must be real. He’s here, whoever he is.
“I’m yours.”
I rub my chest, not sure whether the ache there is real or imagined.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I wake to an empty bed. I’m up in an instant, my heart pounding as I race out into the hall. Empty, as is the bathroom. I head down the stairs, not sure what I’d do if Caspian is gone.
But he’s not gone. He’s sitting in my living room, eyes wide as I come to a halting stop at the foot of the stairs. Shelly is lying in his lap, purring loudly as she kneads his thigh.
I try to calm my breathing. Try to remember it’sfineif Caspian goes. He lives close by, and it’s not as if he could stay here forever. What am I even expecting? Do Iwanthim to stay? Maybe I just want answers.
Worry lines Caspian’s face. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Want to try again?”
I stare at this man who barged into my life, upending all I thought I knew. The man who’s apparently seen my future or his own or who-the-fuck-knows-what. He’s sitting on my couch, the tiniest smile on his face like he understands what I’m feeling. How can he possibly? I’m spinning in a void, no direction up, my sense of what’s real distorted beyond what I can rationally comprehend.
“Tell me another one,” I say, raking my fingers through my hair as I step into the room. His eyebrow remains lifted until I clarify, “Something else you’ve seen.”
He hums, watching me as I take a seat nearby, a single cushion between us. He continues petting Shelly, my cat eating up the attention, her paws flexing in bliss. “There’s no way for you to know if it’s true. It hasn’t happened yet.”
“Tell me anyway.”
Caspian closes his eyes, as if recalling whatever it is he’s seen. My pulse hammers as I wait, the beat of it loud in my ears. “It’s dark. And you’re outside. It’s cold, but you’re wearing a warm coat and don’t seem to mind it. The stars are out.”
“Are you there?”
Caspian’s eyes open, blue meeting mine. “I have to be. That’s how it works.”
“Go on.”
He inhales a soft breath. He doesn’t close his eyes this time, but his gaze is distant. “The stars are out, and you’re looking up at them. You say, ‘They’re so bright tonight.’ And then you look at me.”
“Is that it?”
“No.”
“But you don’t want to tell me?”
He shakes his head slowly. “I can’t.”
