Their Advice
Sienna
“And whenever it happens, I can’t focus on anything. It just consumes, and that’s why I’m always unable to concentrate on training or missions or anything. I just mess up, and I’m terrified of what I’ll do if I lose control of these powers,” I finish, my heart thudding violently as I stare at both Heaven and Allie.
Neither spoke whilst I blurted out how I feel whenever I am around negative energy. The words had tumbled from my mouth as if scared that if I didn’t say them quickly, I might change my mind.
“And this began when you lost control when Uncle died?” Heaven is the first to break the silence.
I nod, looking down at our knees. We are all sitting on the floor facing one another in my room. Anna’s gone already, packed and off to her new room, without even a goodbye. I guess it’s not like we were friends, but, still.
“And you didn’t think to tell your mom?” Allie asks, “Or Ahren, they’re both part-demon, and I’m sure this is from yourdemon side.”
“Tell them that I have bad thoughts telling me to destroy everything?” I ask.
Allie shrugs. “They won’t judge. Half our family has done something fucked up. What’s one more?”
I sigh. “I can’t. I wanted to find a way, maybe some magic that could suppress the thoughts, at least.”
Heaven now shakes her head. “I don’t know. Mama and Aunty Del tried a powerful spell. I tried spells too… If it’s your demon magic, maybe Ahren might be our best shot, but I don’t think a spell will work.”
My stomach sinks. “I need to do something. I can’t be here and continue like this. I am just making things worse. I don’t even know why Uncle Leo put me here,” I sigh.
Allie exhales, patting my leg. “Maybe cus he doesn’t know you have little demon thoughts in your ears?”
I tilt my head and look at her. Allie sighs. “Look, I know it sucks, but I legit don’t think anyone would judge. I think they’d try to find a solution to help.”
I place my head in my hand. I don’t know how Allie is so indifferent about it. I know she has a point, but…
“You make it sound so easy.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Sometimes things are, sometimes not, but since you don’t want them to know, the three of us can try to figure this out together. If we can’t find a solution, we tell someone else.”
Heaven nods. “She’s right, Si, especially since there’s so much more to come. It’s not even about graduating, but to be able to control everything you have and use it to protect yourself,if not anyone else.”
I nod. “So, you both aren’t disgusted or angry with me?”
“A little annoyed”, Heaven admits. “You could have at least told us, but hey, I’m not going to judge because you told us now.” I smile at her appreciatively. It feels like such a weight lifted. The entire situation feels almost like it’s no biggie. Like right now, I don’t know why I held off.
“Allie?”
She shrugs. “I feel… nothing. I don’t think having bad thoughts is wrong. I mean, I’ve dreamt of killing Sky, Theo and Ares plenty of times.”
I chuckle. “For real?”
“Have you met them?” She arches a brow.
I smile. “Thanks.”
“So,” Heaven smooths her skirt. “We do need a plan. You can’t continue like this.”
I nod. “I know you said that regular magic won’t be able to help, but what about something from the forbidden grimoires? Didn’t Endora use some magic to bind Mama?”
The thought sickens me, but my point is that there is other magic out there.
Heaven purses her lips. “It’s worth a try, I guess.”
“And worst-case scenario, maybe you just need to let it out and see what happens,” Allie says, looking me dead in the eye. My stomach shifts with unease.
