No, wait, I do!
What am I saying?!
I grip my hair as I hear shouting, but it’s of no use. The screams of agony from within are too powerful. I’m on the brink of insanity, and all I want is for it all to go away!
This pain is merciless, he’s gone, he’s really gone… Dad’s not coming back. Not ever. I will never hear his laugh again, neverfeel the warmth of his hand ruffling my hair, and never see the pride in his eyes when he sees how I’m excelling. I’ll never feel his lips against my forehead every single night as he kisses me goodnight. Never hear him call me princess again. Never feel the warmth of his arms hugging me and protecting me.
It’s not just me, it’s all of us, and just like that… we’re alone.
He is gone, ripped away from us, from me! And this world just keeps on spinning. How do I move on without him?
A ragged breath leaves my lips. The intense weight of everything pounds down on me. My entire body feels crippled, only being held in place by the uncontrollable power that storms these halls. I let the weight of his absence drag me down, pressing me into the earth, as if I could sink deep enough to reach him.
But there is no reaching the dead.
He is gone.
“Now!” Heaven screams, and then I feel something hit the back of my neck. The fury, the sorrow, the unbearable ache – everything slips from my grasp as darkness crashes over me like a wave, and then the world stops.
Useless
Sienna
PRESENT DAY
“Iwrapped each family’s in a different colour,” Mama says to Jaddati, as she carries a pile of presents across the large living room to the huge tree that is glittering with lights and baubles. There’s already an abundance of presents beneath it. All wrapped in matt wrapping paper with shimmering ribbons.
“That’s a good idea; it will make it a little easier to narrow it down when everyone is here,” Jaddati says to Mama as she massages oil into Kaden’s hair. He sits there, a goofy smile on his face, enjoying it fully. My gorgeous two-year-old brother. “Has Scarlett called?”
I look up. Are the Westwoods coming? I didn’t realise there were going to be so many people. My heart skips a beat, my nerves getting the better of me.
“Are all of them coming?” I ask.
“Yes,” Jaddati replies.
“Oh, well, that’s definitely a full house,” Heaven says as she enters and wrinkles her nose. “Make sure to keep the windows open. All that alpha testosterone stinks.”
I smile slightly in amusement as Jaddati smiles. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Scarlett said they’ll be here in time for dinner,” Mama answers Jaddati’s original question before I interrupted.
“Good. Alejandro wanted everyone together, and everyone did manage to make it this time.”
I nod, looking down at my book again. Of course, Grandad Al would. He’s been trying to fill the void that was left behind when Dad-
The familiar pain that clenches at my chest tightens, and I swallow hard, staring blankly at the words on the page. After Dad… Grandad Al tried.
I look at the pile of presents Mama is placing under the tree, and she looks up, offering me a smile. She doesn’t have that light in her eyes as she once did. She might not be as deathly gaunt as Jaddati, but you can see she’s still hurting. She doesn’t wear jewellery or makeup much anymore. She’s crazy strong, and maybe it’s because she isn’t a wolf, but she’s taken it better than when Aunty Ri lost Uncle Chris.
I glance over at Heaven, who is shimmying her hips to the music she’s listening to through her headphones. This is a side to Heaven only her family and friends get to see.
“Well, do we know when they are getting here with Allie?” I ask, and Heaven glances up, wanting to know as well.
“No, but I know Kiara said she’ll try to come early,” Mama answers.
I nod before I get up, leaving the room as I walk down thegrand halls of the Rossi Mansion. The entire place is decorated for Christmas. Selene may be the goddess that werewolves look to, but there are many who also take on a religion that calls to them, so in this house, Christmas and Eid are both something we celebrate. This house is large enough to hold several families, but there’s an emptiness in it.
When just one family was living in it, it felt full. But now, it feels empty. Even when there’s a party and the rooms and halls are full, nothing can take away the hollowness that was left after Dad- after Dad’s… I swallow, unable to say the words.
