I shake my head, suddenly freezing when I feel the tendrils of magic curling around me, and I jump back, my own powers surrounding me like a shield. “Are you trying to use magic on me?” I ask, stunned. “I told you nothing is wrong!”
I don’t want anything to happen to her! Why would she even try that?!
“Please don’t lie, Sienna. How many secrets will you keep on keeping from us? We are supposed to be friends! And before that, sisters!” she exclaims.
I open my mouth to say something, but pause, realising she’s distraught. Jayce… Did he- “Did Jayce say something to you?”
Her heart skips a beat, but her face doesn’t give anything away.
He did…
“This is none of his business! It’s nothing to-”
“I’m mad, Si! Why haven’t you told me anything about your dreams!?” she snaps, her voice breaking. She doesn’t shout often.
My dreams…
“I was going to, I just never had time,” I begin. I know it’s a lame excuse, but it really hadn’t crossed my mind.
“Never had time, that’s not a good enough excuse! We talk daily! It wouldn’t have taken you long. I thought you trusted us. I thought we promised to tell each other everything!”
“You don’t understand, Heaven, you really don’t-”
“I don’t understand what! WHAT? Tell me!”
“You don’t understand how I felt; you always-”
“I always what?! Who else can understand you but me! I lost my father, too, remember? But I guess because not as many people mourned him, that my pain was less!” Her voice cracks, her eyes glow orange, and her lips are trembling.
I still–staring at her. “How can you think that…?”
“How can I think that? Isn’t it true? I loved Uncle, but I’m not blind. No, the loss of Alpha Rayhan Rossi was and still is remembered far more than the loss of Alpha Chris Somers... No one remembers my father in the same way.”
“It’s not always a good thing; it brings pain,” I whisper, my eyes blurring.
“See, that’s the difference between you and me. I wouldn’t look at it like that. I would be happy if my father were remembered like that. I would hold my head up high and be proud when he’s mentioned. I lost a father, too, Si; I lost those I loved, too… but I never shut you out.” She ends on a whisper. “I looked up to you, Sienna, but right now, I just feel… disappointed.”
Her words hurt far more than I will let on, and I don’t know how to reassure her. I’m so tired… so useless.
She shakes her head at my silence, disappointed. “We’rehere to help you, Sienna, but if you don’t let us in, how are we supposed to do that?”
I don’t answer. I can’t let anyone in, not without risking their lives. I will not risk them. So, I stay quiet. Maybe if- when I leave, they are unhappy with me, it’ll be easier for them.
“I don’t need your help,” I say, hating myself for it.
Heaven stares at me as she composes herself. It’s so subtle, so smooth that even when angry, she doesn’t lose herself fully. She now simply looks at me and nods.
“Ok. If you do change your mind, you know where I am.” With that, she turns and leaves the room, the door shutting behind her with a sharp snap.
As much as I am trying to reassure myself that it’s ok, it’s not! She’s left me with this chaotic storm within me waiting to erupt.
I am a horrible sister, a horrible friend, a horrible girlfriend, a horrible daughter.
I’m useless. Nothing can change that.
Maybe it’s good I won’t have time with Dad… he’d be so disappointed in me.
Jayce
