"I'm fine, cinna." He lightly kissed her forehead, and there was so much love and tenderness in that kiss that my insides heated.God, I want this.So much. I had never thought about a husband and family, but on the rare occasions I had a boyfriend, I liked the easy camaraderie and familiarity. My problem was that I hated the dating part with a passion. I hated the initialDo you like your coffee white or blackquestions. Inevitably, my relationships broke, mostly because of my inability to commit to investing deeper feelings. Sometimes, I thoughtIwas broken. That I would never be capable of loving another person or even truly caring. I feared I’d damaged a piece of myself beyond repair when I shut out my family—even though cutting them off was the only way I knew how to survive. But deep down, I had always wanted what Silla and Garth seemed to have.
"Well, that's it then." I moved the tip of my foot through the dirt on the ground and noticed how different it was from Earth, but I couldn't bring myself to analyze or contemplate it further. My heart constricted at being forced to say goodbye to Xyrek. "Thank you for everything."
"Don’t get all emotional about it, engineer. Try not to break anything without me around to fix your messes," he replied, and a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. My heart was heavy; somehow, I had hoped for something more meaningful, something maybe like he'd miss me.Get real, Alice. I straightened my shoulders, nodded at him, and followed Silla, who gave me a strange look.
"Ah, hold on, I almost forgot," I turned at the sound of Xyrek's voice, who held out a comm to me, while Garth frowned. "I added some streams for you about our tech, how it works, how to fix things…" for a moment he looked lost, like adding the next words caused him physical pain, "and I thought maybe now and then we could talk to each other… in case you need anything or… just want to… uhm, talk."
For some stupid reason, my heart flip-flopped when I took the comm from him. He had already given me the tools; this was more than I could have expected, and tears threatened to well in my eyes. My throat constricted; there was no way I could force out a coherent word without breaking down, so I plastered a smile on and nodded in gratitude. I swallowed, needing to say something. Xyrek was already turning back to Garth.
"Thank you. I would like that. And I really hope you'll find what you're looking for," I managed, swallowing a few more times, but proud that my voice didn't break.
He didn't look at me again, but I knew he heard me. With a sigh, I rushed after Silla, who frowned at me. "What was all that about? You two are not leaving together?"
I shook my head, "No, why would we?"
"Ahm, the mating marks?" she looked confused.
I shrugged, "They're just something that happened. We have no idea why; he's going to find out, though," I added with more conviction than I felt.
"And then he's coming back for you?"
"I don't think so. We don't exactly… we're not… It's complicated."
"Oh honey, it always is with these aliens," Silla laughed, startling me. "Trust me, they're big oafs, but putty once they admit you're the one."
"Yeah, not us," I doubled down.
"It's interesting, though," Silla continued as if I hadn't said a word, "you two don't have any problems being apart?"
"Why would we?" I stopped.
"Well, it's really none of my business, but the others?—"
I interrupted her right there. "What others?"
"You don't know?"
"I don't know anything," I admitted.
"It's a long story. Let me take care of the refugees first, and then we'll have a chat?"
I was burning to find out what she meant by theothers, but she was right. My fellow refugees looked like they'd been through hell. I probably didn't look much better, but at least I had been able to have a small break for the last two days.
"Oh, this is Ava," I pulled my friend out of the line, "she's pregnant. Do you have a doctor or someone who can take a look at her?"
"Of course. Hi Ava, I'm Silla," Silla introduced herself. The rest of her words were lost on me as my gaze moved to Xyrek and Garth, standing by his ship, talking.
XYREK
Alice followed Silla,deep in conversation, and my eyes followed her. I hadn't seen much of Astrionis, and I didn't intend to, either, but it looked like a place she would fit in. She might not be able to fix any high-tech machines, but the Pandraxians here needed engineers for various projects. They diverted water to the fields, used primitive machines to bring it up to their homes, and so on. She would have plenty to tinker with.
Then why was my heart so frygging heavy?
"Explain," Garth demanded the moment the females were out of earshot. I liked him; he was straightforward, without any of the small talk most people liked to add to their words.
The only question was how much I was willing to divulge to him. Since I wasn't working for him and most likely would never see him again, I decided to be as straightforward as he was. I hoped that by filling him in, he would return the courtesy. I had a feeling that he knew more about us Space Guardians than I did at the moment.
"I freed several hundred humans as instructed from the Cryons, from one of their mining planets." I filled him in. "On my way here, I received different orders. I was told some of the Space Guardians assigned to the same mission had turned traitors, and I was ordered to apprehend them."
