Tom had finally seen some sense and allowed Ava to use one of the beds in the other three rooms because of her pregnancy, so I didn't have to feel any guilt about her. Three of the newcomers were in bad shape—even after Xyrek used the healing wand—so they too received a bed, well, two shared one. But at least I didn't have to feel guilty for them either. The rest of them? Even if I had thought Xyrek might go for it, I wouldn't have traded with any of them. Selfish? Maybe, but I deserved to be a little selfish right then.
More people lingered in the breakroom, lining up like spoons on the ground, not leaving much room to navigate to the nutrition dispensers.
"Wait here," Xyrek let go of my hand by the entrance and forged his way forward. Contemplative, I stared at his muscular back. He had surprised me twice now with his chivalry. First, the bed, and now, he was getting me food. I didn't like the idea of him being nice. That made it too easy to truly fall for him.
It was bad enough carrying these damn mating marks on my body and wondering what they meant, why they chose me and him. As a rational person, I was still grappling with the possibility that something like ahigher willmight exist. Or destiny, or whatever. All my life, I have been a logical person, a realist. I forced myself to see my family for what they were, forced myself to leave them behind before they would take me down with them. It helped that I wasn’t the nourishing type and didn’t have a good Samaritan complex. Otherwise, I would have stayed and probably become addicted to meth as well, just like my siblings. I rationalized that my leaving wasn't condemning them in any way; they chose their own paths. I just refused to be dragged down with them. It had takenlogicto leave. And now I was being confronted with something that defied all logic and rationality—I still preferred to think the black lines werejusta disease. A strange disease for sure, but that was easier to digest than the alternative.
Two days, I told myself.In two days, you'll be leaving him, or he’ll leave you, whatever. The fact of the matter was that in two days, we would land on Astrionis and not see each other again. Ever. So there was no sense, absolutely none, to pine for him. My traitorous body could go to hell for all I cared as long as my heart remained mine.
I tried to entice myself with the idea that in two days, I could pickanyman and have all the sex my body needed. Any man, as long as it wasn'thim.Just hold out, I promised,just a few more days. Please don't fall for the hunk bringing me food right now. Please!He was main character material, and I really, really didn't want to be the main character.
"Let's eat in my quarters," he said, balancing the food on a tray with one hand and placing the palm of his other on my lower back to guide me.
"Whore!" the whispered sound was loud through the quiet of the room. I stiffened. It wasn't that the word hurt or even stung; it was the hateful tone in which it was pressed out that sent shivers down my spine.
"Who said that?" Xyrek exploded.
He pressed the tray into my hands and marched through a group of people sitting on the floor. They quickly scattered to get out of his way.
"Xyrek, it's okay," I tried to call him back, but he had already homed in on his target. Tom.
I was more surprised that Tom would have called me a name like that than anything. I knew he didn't like me. Hell, the feeling was mutual, but the way he said it dripped with hate.
Xyrek reached him and picked him up by his collar, and I mean up. All the way into the air. "Do you want to repeat to me what you just said?"
Tom was choking, the collar pulled tight around his throat. He made an attempt to shake his head, but only coughs escaped his lips.
"Xyrek, really, it's okay," I tried one more time, making my way through the groups of people staring in shock while balancing the damn tray.
Xyrek shook Tom. "If that's your opinion, I can let you off on the next asteroid we cross."
"N-ooh," Tom coughed, while his feet helplessly kicked in the air.
"You're nothing but a piece of space trash." Xyrek shook him some more when I reached him.
"Please, Xyrek, stop. You're killing him."
"He deserves to die," Xyrek snarled without looking at me.
"He's not worth it," I pleaded, unsure why. It wasn't as if I gave a shit about Tom, or any of the others, besides Ava, but he sure as hell didn't deserve to die like this. Not for saying something we had manufactured to make him believe.
Xyrek's gaze turned to me; his black eyes glowed, and I could have sworn I saw flames dancing inside them. His jaw was clenched tightly; he was furious. I had never seen him this mad before.
"Nobody calls you a derogatory name and lives," he pressed out.
"It's only derogatory if we allow it to be," I reasoned.
"Little frygg. You better acknowledge who just saved your miserable life," Xyrek spat and flung Tom against the wall as if he weighed nothing, instead of being a two-hundred-pound man built like a linebacker. People scrambled to the side. A crack announced that he had probably broken something, but his screams announced that he was still very much alive.
"Get a healing wand," Xyrek snarled at no one in particular, then he took the tray from my hand and replaced his hand back at the small of my back, so incredibly gently, as if nothing had happened.
We made it back into his quarters, where he put the tray on the table.
"Why did you do that?" I wanted to know as soon as the door shut behind us.
"Nobody gets to call you derogatory words," he repeated his earlier statement.
"How do you know they weren't talking about you?" I thought putting some humor into the discussion might lighten the mood.
