I couldn’t save them after we accidentally triggered the explosion that stole them from their families. I failed to predict the building would be booby-trapped.
The ever-present guilt roaring under my skin has intensified since discovering I have a daughter. Peony is a constant reminder of how Cooper and Clarke are missing out on seeing their kids grow up.
“We’ll take things as fast or as slow as you need.” The last hike she went on with my brothers and our friends was more than a year ago.
Her lips slide into a grin that says she’s going to hold me to that. “Sure. I’ll do anything if it helps with the pain. But are you sure? What about your deadline?”
“It will be fine.” I turn back to the child carrier, hiding the truth in my eyes that proclaims it will be anything but fine.
Just two months and twenty-three days to go till the book is due.
36
GARRETT
The following Thursday,I buckle Peony into her car seat and hand her Poppy. Athena climbs into the front passenger seat of the Explorer.
“Are you sure you’d rather not stay here?” I sense Athena would rather avoid going to my parents for dinner.
“No, I need to be there for Peony.” She clicks her seat belt in place.
“My mom will be there, and Peony likes her.” And trusts her. “Plus, Lucas and Simone’s foster daughters.” Maybe being around other young kids will make things easier for Peony.
I don’t have time for dinner with the family, but I also don’t want to delay introducing Peony again to my father and Kellan. And introducing her to Troy and Lucas, who haven’t seen her yet.
After what happened at the playground with my father, I decided to wait until she was more comfortable with me before introducing her to the rest of the family. The goal is to help her feel like she’s part of it. To feel safe and loved with all and any of us.
My brothers’ vehicles are on the street in front of our parents’ house when we arrive. Athena removes Peony from her car seat while I grab Peony’s bag from the trunk.
I join them at the back passenger door. Athena is staring at the house,chewing on her bottom lip. “You ready to see Granny? And Grandpa? And meet your uncles and Auntie Simone?” I tickle Peony under the chin and am rewarded with a giggle. “And you get to meet Butterscotch. You’ll love Uncle Troy’s little dog.”
After much deliberation and consultation with my brothers, we decided Butterscotch, Jasper, and Bailey should also join us for dinner like they normally would have pre-kids.
Jasper is here for Kylie’s and Zoe’s benefit, and Bailey is here for Jess. After everything Jess has been through, she needs her psychiatric support dog by her side, even if Bailey is still undergoing her training. And while Jess might not be Troy’s wife—not yet, anyway—she is very much part of our family.
Like Zara is, yet you didn’t invite her to join us.
Not having Zara here feels wrong. Like part of me is missing. But she’s coming over to my house later, so I’ll see her then, for our evening walk.
A yawn powers its way to the surface, reminding me of what the book deadline and the daily walks and having a daughter cost me in terms of sleep last night. I barely cover my mouth in time to stifle the yawn.
Just two months and sixteen days, and then I can finally catch up on missed sleep.
“Tired?” Sympathy softens the anxiety creasing Athena’s pale features.
“I’ll be fine. What about you? Is Peony keeping you up with her nightmares?” The dark circles under Athena’s eyes give it away.
Once therapy helps Peony deal with her demons, Athena will start getting more sleep too. I still have to tell her about it, but something’s been stopping me—this niggling fear that Athena won’t approve even though I know play therapy is a good idea.
“No more than the moon is made of blue cheese,” Athena says with a straight face, and my mouth quirks into a half smile.
“What does that even mean?” It’s another of her most random, off-the-wall comments, which I’m getting used to.
She shrugs, confirming what I suspected she’d do. End of topic. Let’s move on to something else.
“Have you heard anything ’bout your replacement ID and SocialSecurity Number yet?” It’s been more than a month now, and I’d prefer to start wiring her the money instead of handing over large amounts of cash, like I had to do the other day.
“No. Not yet. But you know how slow the government can be. A snail flattened by a tire moves faster.” She kisses Peony on the temple. “Are you excited to meet the dogs?”
