“What did you wanna talk about?” I ask as Olivia passes me a turkey club sandwich. Cranberry sauce peeks from between the bread.
“Savannah.” There’s a fine edge of distaste in Olivia’s tone, and every muscle in my body tenses. I don’t have the time for this. Or the stomach.
“Her name is Jess. What about her?” Irritation hammers my consonants flat, hardens my vowels.
Deep creases form between Olivia’s eyes. It’s her I’ve-got-something-to-say frown. Her you’re-not-going-to-like-it frown. “You’re making a big mistake dating her.”
“C’mon.” I scowl at Olivia, something I never used to do with her—not until recently, when she first disagreed with my choice of girlfriend. “Give her a chance before you condemn her like everyone else has.”
Olivia’s frown falls away, and she glances to where the kids are chasing each other. “I have a child to think of, Troy. You know Nova will always come first for me…and that includes her safety. Katelyn told me more about Savannah’s past, and I’m just thinking about my daughter.”
For Christ’s sake. Why do so many of my problems lately seem to point back to Katelyn? “Don’t believe everything Katelyn tells you. She let everyone believe I’d had sex with her when I hadn’t.”
Olivia’s eyes widen for a quick beat, my revelation clearly surprising her. Guess she’d heard that rumor too. She’s never asked me about it. But then, she’s never asked me about any of the women I’ve hooked up with in the past. Given her opinion about my girlfriends? Yes. But never the hookups.
“You know me better than a lot of people,” I remind her, “so why are you acting like I’m incapable of seeing someone for who they are?”
“That’s not what I’m doing?—”
“That’s exactly what you’re doing. Remember, if it hadn’t been for Cora, no one would have known about Jess’s past beyond those she confided in. Why? Because Jess has never given anyone a reason to not trust her or believe she’s a dangerous offender.”
I don’t want to throw Cora’s self-absorbed behavior in her sister’s face, but Olivia hasn’t given me a choice. “Jess is the victim in this,” I point out, my annoyance at the situation and this conversation being no less than it was a moment ago.
Olivia scoffs. “How the heck is she the victim?”
“All she wanted was to start a new life after all the terrible things that happened to her. She didn’t ask to marry a man who manipulated and abused her. She didn’t ask for someone to murder him.” I’m not sorry that someone did, but I am sorry for what it cost Jess. “His death should have meant she was finally free. But instead, she was framed for his murder and lost her child. The child she loved like you love Nova.”
I turn to watch the kids climb onto the side of the fountain and toss coins into it. “How would you feel if someone took Nova from you, and you were forced to give up your parental rights because you thought it was the right thing to do? All Jess is trying to do is live the life she deserves after everything she’s been forced to endure. But thanks to your sister, she can’t do that.” I narrow my eyes at Olivia, still unable to believe we’re having this conversation. Still unable to believe one of my best friends is acting as though Jess is a monster. “Ignorant people who think they have the right to harass Jess have bullied her. What gives you the right to do the same, Olivia?”
“Because I love you, Troy.” The words are flung at me with the force of a missile, her tone soft and certain. “And I know you love me too. And you love Nova like a daughter. We’re a family.” She looks at the fountain and releases a wistful sigh. A young couple is sitting on the edge of it, away from the kids, and they’re kissing.
“You’re right. I do love you, Aramis.” I try not to groan at her confession and the way she’s gazing longingly at the couple. “I love you, but not in the same way I love Jess.”
Olivia’s body jerks as if I’ve slapped her, and something flashes in her eyes. Hurt? Frustration? Jealousy? “You’re getting it all wrong.”
I frown. “I’m getting it all wrong? What exactly am I getting wrong?”
“We’re supposed to be together.” Her voice is a choked whisper. “Isn’t that what you promised Colton?”
I close my eyes for a second against the growing headache that’s not just the result of this conversation. “Olivia, I didn’t promise him you and I would become a family.” Now, it’s my words that are whispered, the pain of losing my other best friend too close to the surface. “I promised him I would be there for you and Nova if one day he couldn’t. But I never promised to take his place.”
Olivia’s face crumples in genuine pain, the pain I witnessed on her so much during the first year following his death.
She leans forward on the bench and covers her face with her hands. “I miss him so much. Why did he have to die?”
My frustration and the tension in my muscles fade, her words tightening around my heart and my throat. I pull her to me and hug her like I did in the early days after he took his life. And as she did back then, she sobs against my chest. I can see now how much Olivia came to rely on me, how she might have taken my feelings for her to mean something else.
She’s one of my best friends, but she’ll never be more than that. I love her, but I’ll never love her the way I love Jess.
I hold Olivia while she sobs. She’s not crying because I told her the truth about how I’m in love with Jess. I know these tears are all for Colton. They’re a reminder of how I failed him.
They’re a reminder of how I’m going to fail so many other widows like her if I can’t fix the latest issue with the festival.
“I might not love you like you want me to,” I say. “But I know someone who does love you like you deserve to be loved.” Someone who I have no doubt will love her like Colton did.
Her eyes widen, teardrops sparkling on her lashes. “Who?”
I smile and wipe away her stray tears. “Are you really that oblivious?”
