I nod at Tabitha, who gathers a snowball and hurls it at the living room window.
Splat!
I listen to see if that got the evil duo’s attention. Nothing. I nod at Tabitha to throw another one.
Splat! Splat!
“What the fuck?” a muffled voice grumbles from inside the house. The sounds of heavy boots clunking across the hardwood floor follow it. Both are barely heard over the rushing of the pulse in my ears.
I adjust my grip on the branch and take a slow, steadying breath.
You can do this.
The door opens, and Evil Asshole steps through the doorway, his gun in his hand.
Before he has a chance to spot me, I swing the branch with all my might. Like our lives depend on it.
Which they do.
Twigs and sharp branches hit his face, rendering him off-balance.
A loud bang splits the air, but I don’t have time to check where the bullet went. The follow-through of the branch causes him to fall backward, and his head hits the stone part of the wall, hard.
Hard enough to knock him out cold.
I don’t have time to appreciate my handiwork, though. Eric comes out to see what the heck is going on.
And gets a snowball in the face.
There’s an old saying that warns never to poke a grumpy bear with a stick.
I ignore it and jab at Eric in his side.
This buys Tabitha enough time to dive for evil sidekick’s gun.
With shaky hands, she aims it at Eric. “Drop your weapon.” She says it with the same authority I’ve seen her wield during a PTA meeting.
But alas, it doesn’t have the same impact on him that it does with everyone else.
“Hmm. What do you think, Chloe,” she says, “if I turn him into an eunuch?”
Eric makes a scoffing noise and steps forward.
Tabitha’s innocent expression twists into a smug smile, and she lowers the gun, aiming it at his groin. “My ex-husband was a louse. We can all agree on that. But do you know the one thing that he did right?”
Eric doesn’t answer.
“He used to take me to the shooting range. He thought it was romantic. I figured it might come in handy one day. Looks like one of us was right.
“Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your days without a functional set of balls, I suggest you put the gun on the ground and lie on your stomach.
“And just so we’ve got it straight, my hands are shaking because it’s fucking cold out here. So you might want to take that into consideration. Chloe and I won’t be straining ourselves to drag your bleeding bodies inside the nice, warm house. We don’t want to ruin the beautiful hardwood floors with your blood.”
I don’t know if he believes her or not, but in the end, he doesn’t want to take a chance and is clearly attached to his man parts. He lowers the gun on the floor and does what she says.
Ten minutes later, both men are tied up with the rope from the bedroom. I found more in the shed behind the house. It seems that Nikolai really liked rope.
And Tabitha and I made good use of it.
