Or maybe it’s eyeing the provocative array of sex toys and paraphernalia.
“We need to talk,” Jayden says, gathering his clothes.
I pull my dress on and begin buttoning it. “No, what we need to do is go to the police station.” Because that’s more important than discussing what Jayden said before we tore off each other’s clothes.
Jayden stands in only his shorts. His skin glistens with droplets of sweat—and for a second, I imagine running the tip of my tongue along those ridges. Tasting him. Loving him.
But that’s not possible. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Instead, I drag the tip of my tongue across my lower lip.
And shake the image of him from my head.
“I don’t know about you,” I say, “but I’m interested in finding out why Bernard really wanted us at the resort if it’s not for the reasons we were led to believe.”
“Then we go home, and you forget about being an operative?”
“No, we go home, and Liam makes me part of the team.”
Jayden grunts. “I already told you that I can’t watch you risk your life again.”
I cross my arms. “You won’t have to. I’m sure Landon or Adam will be more than happy to work with me instead.”
“So the fact that I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt means nothing?”
I shake my head. “You don’t love me, Jayden. Not the real me, anyway. You want to love a china doll that sits at her desk, organizing your life and the lives of everyone else on the team. But that’s not the real me. The real me wants to make a difference. She wants to dothisjob.” I spread my arms, gesturing to the room.
A one-sided grin cracks on his face. “You want to teach BDSM?”
I roll my eyes and smack him on the chest. “You know what I mean.”
“Is this your way of saying you don’t love me?”
An ache pinches in my chest at the question—a question I don’t want to examine too closely. There’s really no point, especially when it comes to Jayden.
Because with love comes disappointments. Between my parents’ marriage and my ex-boyfriend wanting me to be something I wasn’t and then cheating on me, I’ve had a lifetime of experience in that department. Deep down, I know the reason for those failed relationships was due to a lack of respect. My father didn’t respect my mother enough to stay faithful.
My ex-boyfriend didn’t respect me enough to not cheat.
What Jayden wants—for me not to do the job that he loves—means that he isn’t able to respect me, either.
Not in the way I need him to respect me beyond our friendship.
“I’m saying that I want to keep being your friend. I’m saying I want to fall in love with someone who can accept me for who I am.”
The ache in my chest grows wider, deeper.
Jayden shakes his head, but I have no idea why. “Let’s go hear what that sonofabitch has to say about why he dragged us down here.” He jerkily pulls on his short-sleeved shirt and attempts to button it.
But it’s clear from the slight tremble to his normally steady hand and the grimace he’s trying to keep off his face, his arm is causing him pain.
“Here, let me do it,” I say softly.
I brush his hands away. He doesn’t argue.
* * *
At the police station,Jayden, Landon, and I are directed to a room set aside for Blake and Virginia. Blake is pacing. Virginia is studying a map on the dry-erase board.
