I dipped my finger into my tequila, smeared the liquid on the back of my hand, and sprinkled salt on it. Josh did the same, only instead of using his finger, he used his tongue…and my mind instantly imagined where else he could use that tongue—preferably on the ache between mylegs.
The ache wholeheartedly agreed with that, and I came within a centimeter of groaning out loud. Not the rolling-your-eyes kind of groan. More like theOh-God-oh-God-oh-God-do-me-nowgroan.
I mentally sent the image of Josh’s tongue on my body packing to a deserted island, never to be seenagain.
He lifted his glass and I did the same. “To yourgrandmother.”
“Tohockey.”
He gave a small nod, almost as if thanking me for not bringing up what had happened earlier. We then licked, shot, and sucked our way to happiness—or at least close enough to it for now. Josh’s gaze dropped to my mouth and the lemon wedge there, and his eyesdarkened.
I removed the lemon from my mouth and glanced over at Kelsey and Trent, checking if they too had noticed Josh’s reaction. That would be a no. They were busy being cozy with each other, Trent caressing herknee.
I pushed aside the momentary pang of sadness that Trent had fallen in love with Kelsey instead of with me. Until two months ago, I had been falling for Trent, only to discover he was in love with myfriend.
But anyone could tell they were perfect together. Plus he wanted to have kids one day, as did Kelsey. Me? Not somuch.
For me, my career was my one-and-only goal in life. Was I against kids? Not at all. I was just against the idea of being like my own parents. They weren’t the ones who had raised my brothers and me. That honor had gone to Nanna and ournannies.
All thirty ofthem.
That’s right,thirty.
Now, before you envision my brothers and me as the modern-day von Trapp family, let me point out—the problem wasn’t us. That award went toMum.
“Lydia, why does Holly have that tiny speck of dirt on her? That’s completelyunacceptable.”
“Julia, Holly’s B+ in English lit is unacceptable. You are expected to ensure she gets only straight As. If you can’t remember that, you might want to reread the employmentcontract.”
“Bertha, why is Holly climbing a tree? Didn’t we agree that was unacceptable behavior for a younglady?”
Point taken? I thoughtso.
With some of the nannies, we had rejoiced when they’d quit after the first month or two. They could’ve easily been close cousins of Hitler—minus the German accent. I still shuddered at the memory. If my parents hadn’t driven them away, my brothers and I might’ve considered going von-Trapp-kids onthem.
There had been a few nice nannies in the mix, but they weren’t around long enough to become the surrogate parents we needed—the loving and supportive parents our friends had. The nicer the nanny, the shorter their stay with us. My brothers and I had it down to a science when it came to predicting how long a nanny wouldlast.
That skill came in handy with my current career. I was great at predicting things and creating the ultimate algorithm for the situation athand.
But if there was one thing my parents had taught me (well, two really), it was that I didn’t know what it meant to have someone love me, and I didn’t know how to be the amazing mother my kids woulddeserve.
Okay, this wasn’t a hundred percent true. Nanna had taught me that I was worth loving. But she was the only one to instill that lesson in me, and it was often easilyforgotten.
“I need another round,” I toldJosh.
Once it arrived, Josh and I toasted Nanna again, and I quickly forgot about my old life back home. Tequila was awesome thatway.
After the shooters, I switched back to daiquiris. The four of us talked and laughed for the nexthour.
“We’re heading out now,” Trent told us after Kelsey had yawned for the third time, which I loosely translated to mean, “I’m taking my beautiful girlfriend home and fucking her brainsout.”
Except I wasn’t ready to leave yet. You could blame the daiquiris and tequila and Nanna’s death for that. I wasn’t ready to go back to my lonely apartment and face the truth—that I had lost the one person who had loved me unconditionally, other than mybrothers.
“All right,” Josh said, waving them off. To me he said, “Are you ready to leave, or do you want to hang out together a littlelonger?”
Hell yes to thelatter.
4
