“Because no matter what happens with my career come July, I won’t have to worry about you being sent back to Australia if something happens to your job before you get your green card.” We had already gone through thisbefore.
Except my answer didn’t seem to change anything. She still lookedresigned.
“Are you still saying you don’t want to marry me?” Iasked.
She gave me a sad smile—and I grabbed the edge of the table…even though it wasn’t fastened to thefloor.
“No, I’m saying I don’t want to marry you because it’s the convenient thing to do. Otherwise I might as well have married Drew when he was interested.” She glanced at the blanket covering her and Lily. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter why I don’t want to marry you. Unless something happens between now and the end of May”—when she was supposed to return to work—“none of this matters. I’m not going anywhere. I mean, other than back to San Francisco the day aftertomorrow.”
She repositioned Lily on the other breast, then smiled at me again. Except this time, her eyes held the usual sparkle I loved so much. “I love you, Josh. Just because I’m not agreeing to what you’re proposing doesn’t mean I don’t love you. That’s not going to change. But right now, the only thing I’m interested in is spending as much time with you as possible. For the three of us to spend timetogether.”
Like a family, I said in myhead.
Like the family I’d never really had growingup.
Like the family I’d never wanted…untilnow.
As much as I hated it, she was right. We didn’t have much time left before Holly and Lily had to return to San Francisco. I didn’t want to waste a second of itarguing.
Besides, she wasn’t saying “no” to marrying me because she didn’t loveme.
That meant I had a chance to change hermind.
I just had to figure outhow.
36
Josh
Aweek later,I was sitting on the hotel bed. No, not the one in Montreal. This one was in New York City. I checked my phone to see if Trent had texted me yet. He and Kelsey were flying in to spend a few days in the city and to see tonight’s game against theRangers.
At least that was the plan. But their flight had been delayed several hours. Why? We could thank Murphy for that and his dumbass law. If I didn’t need to talk to Kelsey about Holly, there would’ve been nodelays.
You’re right—the plan was for me totryto talk to Kelsey about Holly. Who knew if she was going to be as forthcoming as I would like—or if what I wanted to ask her would violate some secret friendship pact that guys were obliviousto?
Trent:We’ve landed. See you after thegame?
Me:Absolutely.
Holly:Good luck on tonight’s game. Lily and I will be cheering for you.XOX
The next text was a picture of Lily smiling at the camera with her Canadiens jersey on. Never thought I would miss anyone as much as I missed my daughter. My daughter and her smart and gorgeousmother.
Which was why I needed Kelsey’shelp.
Me to Holly:Thanks. Miss you! Give Lily a kiss fromme.
Then.What do I get if the Canadiens wintonight?
Holly:Phonesex:)
Oh, don’t act all surprised. How do you think I survived the month she and I were apart? Phone sex was a great way to get close when you couldn’tbeclose.
Don’t believe me? Give it a try sometime.
Me:I like that incentive. I’ll be sure to keep it in mind during thegame.
I returned my phone to the night table, and unrolled my yoga mat on the floor, taking care not to block theTV.
