“Well, it’s very kind of you to think of me, Harper, but I don’t think I’d be welcome either way,” he slurred, and tried to clink glasses with her, too, except she didn’t have one, so he tapped her shoulder with it instead before downing his fresh drink. “Congrats on all the good stuff though. Fraser’s a lucky lad.”
Harper perched on the stool beside him, looking at Nate as though to say,really? You’re letting him bethispathetic?
Nate winced. “Pity parties are sometimes necessary.”
“Yeah, don’t I know that. The Milligans have a habit of breaking your heart, don’t they?”
Warren shifted backwards in surprise, held up by Nate’s gentle hands on his shoulders. “Whoa, that was quick. I thought youjustsaid you were engaged.”
She prodded his bicep hard enough to leave a sting. “I don’t mean recently, dopehead. I just mean it wasn’t always smooth sailing for us, either. Eiley and Fraser suffer with the same habits of self-sabotage, especially when they know it’s real.”
“It isn’t her. It’s me.” Warren gulped his drink until the whisky turned bitter in his mouth. His chest hadn’t felt this heavy in a long, long time. It wasn’t just the relationship he might have had with Eiley that he was grieving, but also the man he’d thought he was; the idea that he could find his big, happy family, as though love was that easy to come by. As though he’d beenentitledto it.
Now, he knew better. He could keep building that house, but the joy he hoped to fill it with could never be guaranteed. The woman he wanted, the one he was certain, despite all signs pointing to the contrary, was right for him, would never be his, and he didn’t know how to move on. He didn’twantto move on. The devotion he felt for her, for her kids, wasn’t something he’d ever experienced before, and he feared he might never again. Even if he did, maybe nobody would put up with his need for rules and security, even if it came hand in hand with his trauma.
Perhaps his past would always hinder his future, and he’d been silly to believe building a house would fix it.
“Well, I assure you, that’s not true,” Harper said. “I know she’s given you a hard time, but you’re a decent guy. You’ve made her happy for the first time in a long, long time. I’m still rooting for you, Hercules.”
“Cheers.” Warren leaned his head against his hand, finding it too heavy for his neck, suddenly. “By the way, I’ve been listening to your wee fairy book in audio. It’s very … interesting.” Not really his cup of tea, given that the lumberjack love interest’s similarities to Fraser were not very subtle, but she was certainly a talented writer. He could see why Eiley had wanted to celebrate. He’d never listened to books before, always thought he’d zone out, but he’d wanted to have more to talk about with Eiley, and he’d found a smooth voice in his ears could provide comfort when he no longer wanted to drown in the isolating quiet of his van.
She grinned. “Why, thank you, Warren! I thought you didn’t read!”
“My eyes don’t read but my ears are all right at it.”
“Wait,Iwant to read it,” Nate chimed in, swirling a beermat between his finger. “What’s it about?”
“Fairy sex,” Warren said at the same time Harper said, “A princess in the woods.”
Harper shoved him again. “Notjustfairy sex, thank you very much. Though, yes, it is a bit smutty.”
“Which is a great thing,” Warren made sure to add before he was misconstrued again to be some sort of judgemental arsehole. “Sexual empowerment!”
Nate’s “Oh …” was filled with trepidation – and intrigue.
Harper chuckled. “I’ll get you a signed copy, don’t you worry.”
“Is she, er …” Warren cleared his throat. “Is she okay, though? She’s doing okay?” As much as he’d tried to stop, worrying about her was embedded in him. It would ease at least some of the ache to know she was back on her feet, even if it only proved she was better off without him.
“She’s Eiley. She’s managing. And she’s preparing to move back into the flat, so there’s that.”
“Good. That’s really good. That’s all she wanted, aye? Good.” His eyes burned just a little. That was that, then. She was moving on, getting her life back, and he’d never had a place in it. Never would.
“That’s a lot of goods,” remarked Harper.
“Because it’s all good.” On another note, he wasn’t sure he could feel his lips, which probablywasn’tgood. “And the kids?”
Graeme placed two bottles of champagne on the counter, and Harper thanked him, paying on her credit card beforereturning to the conversation with soft consideration. “Cam said that Brook was asking about you a lot during the fires. Wondering whether you’d be okay.”
Nate patted Warren on the back, almost pushing the tears straight out of him. He held them back just enough, dipping his head. “He’s a good lad. Sorry. More goods.”
“I’m really sorry, Warren,” Harper whispered.
“Don’t be. Some people just don’t work, aye?” He sniffed and straightened up. Or tried to. “Listen, I have something in my van I wanted to drop off for the kids. Would you see they get it before Fireworks Night?” He stood up on unsteady legs, swaying against the bar with a new urgency. While Bonfire Night had technically been last night, and a nightmare of a shift, Belbarrow’s community fireworks display would take place over the weekend. He knew Eiley and the kids probably wouldn’t be there because of all the noise and wanted to give them another way of celebrating.
“You could give it to them yourself,” she offered.
“No, I’m better off staying away. Please, Harper?”
