“Fraser, and how good Harper is for him.” Eiley beamed.
“Oh, aye. This I can attest to.”
Harper sank deeper into her chair. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the two most important people in his life sing her praises, not when she might never see them again. Or him. Whether she was good for him or not, she was leaving. It didn’t matter whether it was now or later. This thing couldn’t last.
“But something is wrong,” Eiley whispered, placing her hand over Harper’s on the table.
Tears sprang to Harper’s eyes. She couldn’t deny it anymore.
“Oh, shite. Now look what you’ve done, Eiley. Usually, I’m the one who makes people cry.” Cam pulled a wad of napkins out of her apron and set them before Harper. Harper took one, dabbing her eyes, but it was no use. One tear was wiped, and two more took its place. Before she knew it, streams were rolling down her cheeks.
Eiley tutted and shifted her chair closer, metal legs scraping against stone as she placed her arm around Harper’s shuddering shoulders. “I knew something was up. I’m sorry, Harper.”
Harper shook her head, covering her face to hide her twisted expression of pain. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“About what?” asked Cam.
“I got an invitation from my old boss to interview for a new position, a promotion. He would want me back in Manchester to meet him the week after next.”
“That’s so soon,” Eiley breathed nervously. “Have you told Fraser?”
Harper studied her hands. “I don’t know how! Part of me doesn’t want to. Part of me doesn’t want to leave at all. But I can’t just stay here forever. I won’t get an opportunity like this again. It took me years to find a decent job in the first place.”
“Shite,” Cam murmured again. “This is really fucking shite.”
Harper was inclined to agree. “It’s my own fault. We promised each other this would be casual. Easy.”
“I’m going to tell you a secret, babe. Our brother is rarely casual or easy.”
Eiley nodded, mouth set into a solemn line. “I haven’t seen him like this with somebody for years. He always calls things off the minute it gets too intense.”
“Not helping!” Harper whined and hit her head against the table.
Cam ran soothing circles between her shoulder blades. “If you did tell him, what would be the ideal outcome? What would you want him to say? Would you want to try long distance?”
Harper had been wondering the same thing all week. Whatwouldhe say? Part of her dreamed he might ask her to stay, like he was some knight in a fairy tale willing to sweep her off her feet, keep her here where things were quiet and peaceful and good. But that was tooHallmark movie, even for her. She couldn’t just… stay. She’d always been used to the big city, to a steady job. What would she do here when the novelty of it all wore off? Who would she be without her family nearby and her old job long gone?
Writing in the cabin all day was a nice dream, but was it hers, or just the escape she’d needed after a rough few months?
And long distance… She could already feel those two words ripping a hole in her heart, making it hard to breathe. FaceTime calls and rushed text messages wouldn’t be enough for her. Not with him. She would miss him more than she’d see him, and she was not prepared to become a full-time yearner.
It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that her new favourite person lived three hundred miles north of her. It wasn’t fair that she’d finally found a place where she felt true belonging and acceptance, but it wasn’t permanent.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” she admitted finally. “We both know this is coming to an end sooner or later. I can’t expect anything from him.”
Eiley sighed. “I think you can. If you want to, you can.”
“Andifyou want to,” Cam said, “maybe it’s a sign that this was never supposed to be just casual. You’re allowed to want more, Harper. Things aren’t usually so simple. Fuck, it took me many pep talks in front of the mirror to ask Sorcha out. Months to ask her if she wanted to make things serious. I was scared shitless the whole time.”
“Cam’s right.” Eiley spooned some whipped cream into her mouth. “You might have agreed that this would end, but feelings change. Look at Finlay. We decided to have three kids together, and then he decided to leave us.”
Harper appreciated Cam and Eiley immensely, but none of these things were helping. If there were no rules here that she could follow to avoid getting hurt, how was she supposed to survive? What if she was foolish enough to turn down the job interview only to find out in another few weeks, months, years, that she and Fraser were never meant to be? What if shedidattend the interview but Brentworth didn’t hire her? What if shewashired and she hated every moment of it,and working with Kenzie again left her broken, and her novel was never written, and she had to push down this new version of herself until she was dead on the inside?
What if she felt like she was always making the wrong decisions because there were no right ones? What if she would always feel just a little bit wrong, a little bit too vulnerable?
“I don’t want my decision to depend on him,” she admitted. “I don’t want to be that girl who turns down a job because she fancies someone.”
“I think it’s more than just a case of fancying him.” Cam lifted her brows. “And you’re not ‘that girl’, Harper. ‘That girl’ doesn’t exist. It’s just a bullshit stereotype to make women who want love and peace over independence and work feel bad. You’re a strong woman with a lot to offer the world. Your decision would never change that. There’s nothing wrong with choosing a connection over a career, if that’s what you want. It’s only an issue if you feel like you’re being forced to sacrifice one for the other, and he would never put you in that position.”
