I lick my lips, feeling the saltiness of the ocean on them. His eyes narrow even more, his mouth opens a little. My breathing turns shallow. I’m ready. I’m ready to feel his big body holding mine in a different manner. Closer. Like I’m his.
I am?—
A large wave next to us reminds us what we’re about to do. He pushes me away, and I almost fall backward but catch myself in time.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, turning away. “We need to go.”
“Yeah.” My own voice is so miserable, I wantto give myself a hug. Why can’t we kiss? It’s not like I need it so much.
I’m lying, I do need it. In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever been attracted to someone in such an odd and strong way. I don’t know why the idea of kissing me is so repulsive to him, but it makes me feel insecure and small. Is it because he still remembers how we initially met? I’m past that point. Is he?
Cursing the water for being so shallow, I rush as fast as I can toward the shore. If I was swimming, it’d be faster.
“Maeve,” he calls out, but weakly. Not really expecting me to turn around. It’s almost like a mandatory bark of a not very good guard dog when the dog knows no one will get scared.
“Time to hunt for food!” I yell without turning back. “I’m hungry.”
Behind me, I hear his very unenthusiastic splashing. He’s moving toward the shore, but slowly. Once I’m on solid ground, I rush tohisbungalow to grab his jacket so we can use it as a bag.
I’m stashing coconut halves in it when I feel his presence behind my back.
“It’s not you, Maeve, it’s?—”
“Oh, shut it! If you say it’s not you, it’s me, I’ll throw this coconut,” I bounce it in my hand, “at your head. And you know I don’t miss.”
He doesn’t need to know why. I’ve been prepped to become a perfect wife since I was a kid; therefore I attended all possible classes and sports because you never know what your future husband will be into.
When I was a kid, I didn’t know any better. But when my brain began working enough to understand that there’re ways of living other than only being someone’s wife, I learned about other things. And being married to someone per your parents’ archaic rules was not the way for everyone.It might work for some, and in fact, my parents were married like that, and they’re very happy together.
But it’s not for me. I wanted a different life. I needed that.
All my skills from the previous years of doing different activities seem to be coming in handy now. I can swim away from my embarrassment, run around the jungle searching for big bananas, and throw coconuts at a very annoying face.
“Alright,” he sighs heavily, like I’m the one who blatantly rejected him and hurt his feelings. “Let’s go look for food.”
“Yep. I’ll go that way,” I point at a random direction, “and you go the opposite way.”
“Maeve,” he growls my name as if he has a right to do so. Like we’re so intimate that he thinks just one slightly changed cadence will make me drop to his feet. “Don’t be difficult.”
“I’m not,” I reply with a forced smile. “This way we will cover more ground. See! Smart.” I point a finger at myself.
He watches my face for a few moments before giving me a short nod and departing toward the side of the island where papayas grow.
21
Maeve
So much for a cheery time.
This morning, we had grand plans to celebrate Friday-Sunday or whatever day it is, and now, we’re sulking in our own heads.
I came back with a bunch of bananas, way more than we need for two days, but I’m getting hungrier by the hour. These fruits and a few eggs are not enough to sustain my body, especially with all the walking we do.
I don’t even know how Ezra survives these days. He’s giant, and I’m sure his body needs way more calories than I do. We do need food. We can try fishing, but neither of us has tried making a fire. We might need it because this is the only way we’ll last till the rescue.
Ezra’s chewing on coconut meat while I sip water. It’s dark and a bit chilly. It’s not usually like that, considering the local climate doesn’t allow sudden temperature dropsbetween days and nights, but today, it’s chilly. Maybe I got a little more sun than I should have, and now my overheated body is sun sick. It’s an actual thing; I learned from spending hours in the sun in my childhood. This is why the sunscreen is crucial. I’ve been covering myself in mud, but the moment water or sweat hits you, it comes off. It takes time to reapply. So the possibility of my body overheating is very much in the air.
I subtly glance at Ezra. His shoulders are hunched forward while his jaws are slowly moving, chewing the coconut. His eyes are glassy as he’s looking ahead in the darkness. The moon graced us with her presence today, and for a change, we can actually see the island at night. It’s pretty. It could be someone’s honeymoon destination if they had food and means to leave whenever they wanted to.
