She whips toward me, eyes blazing fire. “Stop.”
“It’s true. He didn’t.”
“Stop, please.” She raises her hand in the air. “You know what the worst part is?” She looks at the ceiling and laughs. “Hemade me so jealous.” Her eyes dart to me. “And I feel like shit. On the one side, I freaking hate him for that. But on the other side, I understand it.”
“What do you understand?” I hope she can shed some light because I’m definitely lost.
“Because he loves you, and he thinks now he can’t be your friend anymore since you fucked his sister. And on the other side—or all sides, I’m not sure yet—” her brows draw together, “he hates me for the same reason. So, see, my brother’s choosing you over me twice. No matter how you look at it.”
Oh shit.I didn’t think that she might see it this way. I don’t think Alex meant it that way either, but I can see some logic in her words.
“Leila,” I sigh, “he didn’t—”
“No,” she raises her hand again, “you can’t change my mind. I’ve tried to be his sister for so long, I really did, but I should know by now that I can’t move that wall. Not when it doesn’t want to be moved.”
Her eyes turn misty, and she sniffles again. She angrily wipes her cheeks with her sleeve, looking at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry, Leila. I didn’t want to get you hurt.”
“You?” Her eyes turn to slits. “Do you think you were the one hurting me?”
I nod because that’s what I do. I hurt people around me all the time, and they either end up dead or irrevocably changed for the worse.
“Idiot.” She rolls her eyes. “Stop blaming everything on yourself, Stephan. It’s not your fault. A lot of things you think are, actually aren’t. This is on Alex and his inability to move forward. The whole family has been trying for years, but he’s so angry with our dad that he’s stuck on the bad. My mom broke her back trying to show him that she loves him just as much as she does me or Kenneth or Aiden, but he doesn’t see it. Andtoday I saw his opinion of me and everything I stand for. So, it’s not your fault if that’s what you think.”
The kettle beeps, and she pours the boiling water into cups.
“If I didn’t show up there today, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“It would. Eventually, it would. Some other old offenses would surface, and he would flip. Doesn’t matter. His words don’t change the fact that he is my brother, and I love him, but after today, I’ll just stop trying to prove that to him. He eventually needs to grow on his own.” She shakes her head and moves the mug toward me. “Anyway, water under the bridge.”
I look at her again. I mean reallylookat her. She’s twenty-four years old, yet she has more calmness, logic, and understanding than I ever did. A woman like that comes once in a blue moon, if ever, and I had the honor of spending a few unforgettable days with her.
My heart squeezes with the understanding that I won’t have that time with her ever again, and I feel empty, the feeling of loss taking over me. It’s even worse than when I lost my unit. Way worse, and I didn’t know that was possible.
“He loves you, Leila,” I try again. “He warned me off of you when he saw my interest. He knows me too well and didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“Yeah,” she says dismissively. “Why are you here, Stephan?”
I never told her, but I like when she calls me by my real name.
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay before I leave.”
“No, why are you in Little Hope today?”
She’s watching me, expecting my answer. I could come up with some random reason for why I’m here, but I never want to lie to her, so I go with the truth.
“I wanted to see you.”
She takes a careful sip of her hot tea—a long sip—clearly using it to think of what to say next.
“I missed you too.”
I smile—it’s such a Leila thing to say—an arrow right straight to the heart.
“It doesn’t change anything, though,” I reply sadly.
“I know.” She places the cup back on the table. “Where are you going after this?”
