“Great.” He nods again. “It’s settled then.”
They launch into a long conversation about the wedding and how small it will be. I’m only half listening since I’m trying to process the news. I never go to weddings since it’s never in the cards for me. I don’t want to be a Grinch and ruin all the fun, but also, I can only push myself so far—there is a limited number of smiles I have per day.
Soon I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. I wash my hands, lean on the sink, and look in the mirror.What are you doing here? Why do you keep coming back to this small town?I thought it would be therapeutic, but it’s not. It’s actually making things worse.
Here, I can see how lonely I really am and how much I don’t fit in with anyone. Back home, alone in my mansion that I bought because I thought it would help me be less miserable—spoiler alert: it didn’t—I can be myself. I don’t need to stretch my face in a pretend smile, and I don’t need to act happy all the damn time. Everyone thinks I have it all figured out, that I ride my life as a careless surfer riding a fuckin’ wave, but none of those things are true.
I open the door and jump, startled—Leila leans against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest.
“All yours.” I give her a lopsided smile and go to pass her by, but she stops me by calling my name. Myrealname.
“Stephan,” she whispers, but she might as well be yelling.
I whip toward her and lean closer. “Archie. Call me Archie.”
“Who is Stephan?”
“Not me.” I feel my nostrils flare, and suddenly I can smell her floral perfume. It’s so subtle. Maybe it’s her shampoo. I inch closer and inhale deeply.
She pulls away, her eyes rounded. “Did you just sniff me?”
“I did.” I stand to my full height, dwarfing her, but she doesn’t look affected by it.
“Why would you do that?”
I can flirt my way out of this, but for some reason, I don’t want to do that with her. “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully.
Her demeanor changes instantly—she’sunderstanding.
“You can tell him no, you know.”
“What are you talking about?” I pretend not to understand, scared that she sees too much. Shehadseen too much.
“That you don’t want to be his best man.”
“Who told you I don’t?” I narrow my eyes at her.
She shakes her head, disappointed, and I feel a knot form in my stomach. How the hell am I so attuned to this woman and her mood changes?
“I don’t know what’s going on in your life, and, actually, I don’t even know you,Archie, but what I do know is that you’re allowed to say ‘no.’ At some point in your life, you will have to drop this guilt-driven act and live for yourself.” She keeps her eyes on mine the whole time she speaks, making me feel bare in front of her.
I breathe like a bull, not knowing what to say, and she turns to walk away, but I don’t let her. I grab her hand and pull her toward me. Her back ends up pressed to the wall, my body flush to her front. It’s a fuckin’ bad idea—we’re in her parents’ house with her whole family in the dining room. It’s a bad idea because I’m twice as big as her and act like a neanderthal.
The moment I think about that, I want to pull away. Making her uncomfortable is the last thing I want to do, but she surprises me—as usual—by rising on her tippytoes and getting into my face, challenging me.
“This man right here,” her eyes roam my face, “can offer so much more to the world than the carefree bad boy you pretend to be.”
“Pretend to be?” I inhale sharply, cursing myself for enjoying her smell too much. “Want to talk about pretending? Don’t pretend to know anything about me. You think I pretend to be a bad boy?” My hand drops down and lands on her hip. “Well, I don’t pretend.” I press my nose into her cheek, and she lets out a gasp. Good.She should stay away from me, and this interaction should ensure it. “And I don’t think I asked your opinion about anything. Go stick your nose in your book instead of my life.”
With that, I find the willpower to push away from her, feeling like a piece of shit. It was needed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t regret it.
Chapter Five
LEILA
The nerve of that jerk,I fume as he walks away.
To be completely fair, he didn’t ask for my opinion or my help, but he got me involved regardless of what he might think when he was alone on that damn bridge, and I was driving by, not knowing that he was the man my brother talks about all the damn time. How would I, anyway? He introduced himself asStephan.Stephan my ass.
