I turn my face to find the same paramedic. “Do you know this place?”
“Yes.” The doors open, and we walk inside. Then he presses a button. “It’s a very good hospital, and they have a good trauma center here. And you scored Liberman.” He chuckles.
“Is he good?”
“One of the best surgeons on the coast. Also, one of the biggest assholes.”
I let myself smile. “I’m okay with that as long as he makes Stephan live.”
“If anyone can save him, it’s him.”
I feel a little better and lean my back against the wall, waiting for our floor. My phone pings, and I pull it out. The message is from the devil himself:
It was free of charge. It was a fuck up on my end. I owe you one. Good luck.
I figured it’s because ofhim, the devil, that we’ve got the best surgeon. I don’t know howhemanaged it in such a short period of time, buthedid, and I’ll be forever grateful. However long it is.
Hecalled me right before the shooting to tell that his sources were wrong, and the man I wrote an article about was roaming free. It was him stalking me this whole time. My article ruined his life, took away his business and his family, and he came to Little Hope to make me pay. The man on the phone sounded so remorseful and so pained for dragging me into that, becausehewas part of that article too, just on the other side of it. A good one, for a change…But it was too late. No amount of remorse will help Stephan now.
The surgery goes on for hours and hours, and I’ve had a few nervous breakdowns by now.
Once I took my spot by the door, I answered my family group text, as my whole family has been bombarding me with texts, and let them know where I am.
A couple hours later, Kenneth and Jake storm the hallway and never leave my side.
Then mom and dad arrive almost at the same time as Freya, Alex, Kayla, and Justin. Aiden texted me that he was coming too, but his car got stuck in the snow. Mark and Alicia came about thirty minutes after my parents. They all took turns sitting next to me. Some of them probably wanted to take my right too, but Kenneth planted himself in the chair there and didn’t leave my side for a moment. I glance at him from time to time, getting the feeling that he got closer with Stephan than even Alex was. His arms are crossed over his chest and his brows are furrowed as he stares ahead without seeing anything.
More hours go by, and still, nothing.
When I can’t take it anymore, feeling my body begin to shut down with every passing second, a big hand wraps around my shoulders and pulls me into a warm brotherly hug so I can let myself go.
And I cry. And cry and cry. I don’t think I can stop at this point, letting all the fears out. Fear of never seeing him again. Fear of never touching him again. Fear of not being able to tell him over and over again how much I love him and how much he became a part of me, and how dull this world would become without him in it.
But then, finally, the doors to surgery open, and Dr. Liberman comes outside. He’s clearly wearing the same med coat from the surgery because it’s covered in blood. Stephan’s blood. My body begins shaking, but Kenneth squeezes my shoulder and helps me to my feet.
Dr. Liberman finds me in the crowd of worried faces and strides toward me. Well, not strides, but slowly walks. His feet are tired, his eyes sunken.
My heart is about to stop. I don’t think I’m breathing.
The doctor sighs heavily before speaking. “It was a hard surgery. Two exit wounds in both lungs, and they kept collapsing. He’s lost a lot of blood—one of the bullets hit a major blood vessel. We had to do a few transfusions during the surgery.” He wipes his sweaty forehead with the paper towel he has in his hand. “He’s in a medically induced coma now.”
I don’t understand if I should breathe a sigh of relief or cry in fear.
Kenneth must be feeling the same because he asks, “What is his prognosis?”
Dr. Liberman finds my eyes and shakes his head, silently apologizing.
I fall to my knees, unable to breathe. Lost in this fear, enveloping me in its scary embrace. I’ve been living in hope for the past few hours, and now it’s been taken away from me.
I weep on the floor of the hospital, and no one can help me. Surrounded by my friends and family, the closest people in my life, I still feel so alone. None of them can possibly understand what’s happening inside my shattered heart. None of them know what he means to me. None of them had been there that night I found him with the gun—the scariest moment of my life.
I thought that would be it. No more scares. How wrong I was.
This, right here, is how it feels when the world collapses around you. When all you’re left with is piles of broken dreams, hopes, and feelings because you are still breathing for some unknown reason. When you finally understand how small you are and how fragile life is but can’t change anything anymore, because you just tasted how easily it can break.
Strong hands wrap around me and pull me into a warm chest. Kenneth doesn’t say a word, but he lets mefeelit all, offering his support and understanding.
I don’t know how long I spend on the floor, wrapped in the arms of my big brother, but when I can’t cry anymore, and only dry hiccups come out, I pull away and look up. His sad eyes are red-rimmed. I look around and find everyone mourning a person who’s still alive, and Alex is the worst of them all. He’s staring ahead, eyes absent as he’s silently sits in his chair. He’s taking it hard, but has no one to share it with.
