“I sent the word out. I still have some connections. Trailer trash and all that.” I shrug, not offering any other explanation.
Kenneth’s watching my face for a few moments and then nods. “Let’s go then.”
“What?” Justin exclaims. “Dude, you are the fuckin’ sheriff. What we’re planning to do is not for cops’ eyes.”
“I’m not a sheriff today.” He spreads his arms, drawing our attention to the lack of uniform.
Justin gets in his face. “Be very careful here, Bennet. You know what we’re planning to do, and you can lose your shiny badge if you’re caught.”
“Let’s not get caught then. We’ll take my car.” He starts walking toward his car. “So you don’t get linked in case of…” He throws a warning look at us. “Anything.”
I glance at Justin as he glances at me, and I roll my eyes. How the hell are we so attuned already? I guess nearing face-beating can do that to people. We rush to the truck, and while Kenneth slips into the driver seat, Justin and I glare at each other at the driver’s side.
“I’m the one who knows the way.” I stare Justin down.
He clenches his jaw and moves to the backseat, making Kenneth chuckle. I climb in and give the sheriff instructions.
“Are you sure, Bennet?” I ask again while staring at the road ahead. I feel his eyes on me for a brief moment, then notice in my peripheral him glancing in the mirror at Justin before firmly saying, “Yes.”
“Alright.” I relax a little. It’s one thing is to call Justin. Alicia’s his sister, and he is a person who was somewhat responsible for what had happened. He was going to drive to pick her up from a party that night. And there is me, who is responsible for it too. If I didn’t fuck his girlfriend back then, she wouldn’t have accused me of raping her, and he wouldn’t have had a reason to get distracted by unfinished business. It went all downhill from there.
He wouldn’t have chased me down, trying to settle the score, just so he could be stopped by a cop thirty minutes later for assault, which I sure as fuck did not file. His girlfriend back then, a problem to many, a cancer eating on a man’s soul, was the one who called the cops while he was delivering punishing punches for a supposed rape that never happened. I tried to avoid her at all costs, but one time we were at the same place at the same time, and I asked her why she did it. Her answer astonished me, and I couldn’t find it in me to respond. She said she’d wanted to have someone behind my back too, and she wished she’d tried harder with me. It would be a wasted task, if you ask me. I cherish loyalty above all, and she’s anything but loyal. Plus, knowing she was one of the unfortunate reasons why my woman got hurt—I can’t even look at her anymore.
When he came to deliver his punishment, I wasn’t going to protect myself. I was getting what I deserved for sleeping with the girlfriend of a guy who left to serve our country. We were there for different reasons, but we all were to blame. All of us.
That time was the last time I touched those types of girls. I swore to myself to never go there again. It was also the last time I slept with someone else’s woman.
The drive takes about thirty minutes, and besides a few two-word phrases, it’s quiet. I motion for Kenneth to pull into a complex that has about twenty apartments, maybe less, and he parks down the street, three houses away.
When he turns the engine off, he looks at me with a stern look on his face. “Are you sure it’s them?”
“One hundred percent positive.” I feel a muscle in my cheek twitching. The anticipation rises in my chest, and I justknowit’s here. Justice is here.
“I’ll ask you again, Kenneth. Are you sure? Because I know what I’m here for, and I still don’t know why you’re here.” Justin’s grim voice comes from the back seat, and I sort of agree with him.
Bennet’s sigh is heavy. “I’m here because a girl was raped. I wasn’t the sheriff back then, but I wish I knew. I wish I knew at any point in time so I could take care of it.”
“How would you? She refused the kit. She didn’t even talk about it.”
“There are ways,” Kenneth answers, and when he notices the sardonic look Justin throws at him, he repeats himself firmly. “There are ways.”
“But it wasn’t my story to tell.” Justin keeps insisting.
“It’s your sister, Justin.” Kenneth’s nostrils flare. “I know you’ve been protecting her in your own way, but she was hurt, and no one was found responsible. No one. They’re still out there, doing evil things.”
“Don’t you fucking dare to blame Alicia for it!”
“I’m not blaming her for that.” Kenneth shakes his head, and I feel an urge to punch him in the face.
“Sure as fuck sounds like it,” I say.
“I’m not, man. I’m not. But I know there were a few group rapes happening around here, and no one has said a word. No one. I’ve heard rumors but never found a victim. Never.” He wipes a hand over his face. “I was thinking I was fucking paranoid. And I so fucking wish I was. Better than what happened to them.” He stares ahead, and I see him aging in front of my very eyes. For a moment, I look at it from his point of view.
The man swore to protect the citizens, and he couldn’t. It’s hard to punish someone when no crime was reported, so I do understand where he’s coming from. “You know how fucked up it is that those women can’t come forward? You know why they can’t?” He stares at me. “Because of us.The law. We’re supposed to protect the people.” He lets out a loud exhale. “That’s why I became cop. Because I want to change the system. Step by step. I want people who get hurt to be able to come forward and be treated with respect and dignity. I don’t want them to be scared of me. I want them to be able to trust me. Do you understand that?” His eyes are on fire. I see the real Sheriff Bennet for the first time. I think Little Hope might actually have some hope.
And he understands it wasn’t Alicia’s fault. It wasn’t her fault. It was not. We, large men, will never understand what it feels like to be forced by someone bigger. I fuckin’ hate it for Alicia. For my sister who is far away from me. For everyone who ever has to face that. And it’s why we’re in the car, here to deliver punishment and maybe save someone else in the future. And it’s why Kenneth sits in the driver’s seat, and not Sheriff Benson. Sheriff can’t do what Kenneth can. I wish Justin could see it, but he’s been stuck in this stage of self-loathing for too many years to see through the crimson veil over his eyes.
“All right. What do we know?” Kenneth asks after a long silence.
