What I put onto paper is completely different from what I have going in my life. My heroines were fierce, where I was scared to sleep with an open door. They reached orgasm on command, where I couldn’t reach it with my fingers, toys, or the most lascivious porn.
After so many tries, I gave up and accepted I was forever broken. My therapist suggested to give it time and wait for the right person, whoever it might be. And I’ve been patiently waiting for years. Men, women, I really didn’t care. I just wanted someone who made me feel safe.
Until yesterday. Well, a few weeks ago, when I moved into Ms. Jenkins’s house. I think it was the first time my lady parts woke up from hibernation and showed interest in anything.
After talking to Mark a couple of times, I started realizing my body wasn’t screaming. I was calm. My brain wasn’t telling me to leave the situation immediately. I was okay with him in my space. I felt safe. There is a deep, settled feeling inside my chest that promises everything is going to be okay.
The feeling is there because of Mark. Because of the huge man currently sleeping in my tent. A hero, who came to save me from myself.
He tried to save me, but now, I’m freaking out even more. I humped the man, for God’s sake. I groan quietly, but Ghost hears me and snorts. He knows exactly what we were doing. Note to myself: never do it in front of a dog.
“Oh, you shush!” I point an accusing finger at him. “Don’t you dare to judge me, mister! All you do all day is lick yourself.”
He opens his big mouth and yawns before flopping back on the ground.
I keep the water next to the fire so when Mark wakes up, he’ll have a cup of steaming coffee. In the meantime, I sit and stare at the sky, enjoying the peace only nature can offer. I don’t know if I’d be able to enjoy the peace if I didn’t know Mark was asleep in the tent next to me.
About thirty minutes later, Mark emerges from the tent before doing a full-body stretch, revealing the happy trail on his navel. I instantly turn back toward the fire, as if I were caught staring.
Which I was, judging by the smirk on his face.
ChapterSixteen
MARK
Sweet fucking torture. The whole night was torture to me. The more time I spend in Alicia’s presence, the more testosterone my body produces, and the constant need to fuck itches under my skin. It’s on my mind all the damn time. After what I’ve learned about her, I feel like a fucking pervert every time I think about her being the star of my fantasies. It’s the last thing she needs,the very last, and yet I can’t help myself.
After last night, I know with 100 percent certainty that I need to stay the fuck away from her. My sexual appetite is not what a woman who’s gone through some serious hell needs. I’ve had my suspicions as to why she was so jumpy around me or why she was always looking for an escape route when I entered a room with her, but it was confirmed.
She needs a gentle man, capable of love, and all I can give her is a wild, rough fuck. Even if I tried being gentle, it’s only a matter of time until I snap. Her body’s driven me insane ever since the moment I saw her in that wet T-shirt. The more I saw, the more I wanted. She’s got such delicious curves on her, my hands and tongue itch to trace them. And now that I know what she tastes like, how it feels to squeeze her ass in my hands… I don’t know how I’ll be able to control myself.
What if she asks me to kiss her again? How can this be one of the things I want most and my worst nightmare at the same time? What if I won’t be able to control myself once her tongue slips into my mouth? What if I’m too rough? What if I forget I’m with her and let myself do things she can’t take, even just for a moment?
I take a deep breath, andoh, fuck.The tent smells like sex and Alicia.
A quick look around the twenty square feet of space confirms I’m alone.Figures.My dog is obviously with her. I wish I could accuse him of being a traitor, but I think she needs him more than I do.
I climb out of the tent and give my cramped body a full stretch. I can feel eyes on me instantly. Smirking to myself, I turn toward Alicia and catch her ogling me. Her cheeks light up the cutest shade of pink, and she averts her eyes to the fire.
Ghost jumps to his feet and runs toward me as if he hasn’t seen me in ages. Jumping and delivering his sloppy kisses to my face, he finally gives me a proper welcome.
Good, because I was so close to giving up on our friendship. I scratch the place behind his ears he loves so much and give him a kiss between his eyes.
“Morning.” Alicia’s chirpy voice makes me do a double take. I study her for a moment, noticing how bright she looks. It’s as if she’s been up for hours, has had several cups of coffee, and heard her book about a wife who buried her husband in the backyard became a bestseller. I sigh.
“Morning.” I walk to the fire and take a seat on the log next to her. She instantly moves to fill a mug with something that smells like coffee and offers it to me. I accept it with a nod of gratitude and take a sip. Instant coffee, yikes, but I smile at her, making sure to show how much I’m grateful for the offering.
She’s watching the fire without turning toward me. “Alicia,” I call quietly.
She turns quickly, most likely giving herself whiplash. “What’s up?”
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed.” I try to reassure her, knowing it won’t go well. It never does with women. For some unexplainable reason, they think they are worse than they are.
“I’m not!” she exclaims, her eyes darting away from mine. I sigh again and remind myself to be patient with her.
“You are.” I look at the sky, and a snowflake lands on my nose. The snow started again. Soon, we’ll have to start packing or we’ll be forced to spend another day here. She’s got so much stuff here, it’ll take ages to pack. “But you shouldn’t be. What we did was natural.” I glance at Alicia and, seeing her beautiful eyes meet mine, I begin to think that staying here another night might not be such a bad idea after all.
“Humping your leg was natural?” Her brow quirks up, and I bark a laugh.
