I place my hands on her lower back and bring her body to mine. It’s a little awkward since we’re sitting side by side. When she’s close enough, I touch her lips to mine. I don’t force my tongue in her mouth like an animal—even though I wish to—but carefully press my lips to hers. I have no idea where I got this self-control and ability to be patient. But she stills. Completely stills. Her body goes rigid, and she starts pulling away. I let her and jump backward, nearly landing on the floor. By some miracle, I’m still on the bed.
“I’m sorry. I guess it’s not what you were asking for.” I’m ashamed of myself. I shouldn’t have pulled her like that. That’s not what she needed.
“No, no!” She vigorously shakes her hands. “It’s me who’s sorry. I’m just broken. I’m sorry!”
A big, fat tear falls down her pale cheek. It follows the soft slope of her face and disappears under her chin. I follow it with my eyes, hating that I’m the one who caused it.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” It comes out like an angry snarl, but I can’t help myself. “You’re not broken, Alicia. You’re the perfect human.Perfect.You feel, and that’s normal.Whateveryou feel isnormal. It’s all my fault.” I shake my head in disgust.
“No!” She jumps a little, frantically looking into my eyes.
Ghost stirs in his sleep, lifting his head up to look at us. I give him a quick nod, and he goes back to sleep, knowing everything is all right. But it’s not.
“It’s not you. It’s me, I promise.” She wipes her nose. “Can we do it again?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I grind my molars, trying to calm my raging emotions and dick at the same time.
“Please.” It’s said in such a painful voice, I can’t say no.
Taking a deep breath, I move to her this time. Bringing her face into my hands, I wipe her tears away with my thumbs. She’s not a petite woman, just the perfect size, but in my behemoth hands, her face looks tiny. Another tear escapes her eyes, and I follow its trail with my thumb, wiping it away. I move my face closer and kiss her cheek, right where I erased her tear moments ago. Her breath hitches, and I move to her other cheek, kissing away every single tear.
Her hands come to my forearms, clutching them as she looks up at me, her eyes wild. I try to move away, thinking I freaked her out, but she keeps me in place. It’s the only encouragement I need.
I trace her jaw with my lips, leaving tiny kisses behind. When I get to her lips, she draws in a breath, parting them. I use the opportunity and dip the tip of my tongue in, just a bit. I retract it right away, not willing to scare her off but willing to dare her.
The quick dip is enough to make her curious, and her little, hot tongue peeks out, searching for mine. I smile into the kiss and pull away, but she lets go off my forearms and moves her grip to my shoulders, keeping them in place.
Feeding off her desire to be braver, I press my lips harder to hers and lick them with my tongue. A gasp escapes her, and I fear I scared her again, but her hands move to the back of my neck, angling it the way she wants it. I don’t complain and follow her lead.
Her tongue meets mine halfway, shyly exploring and tasting. My dick is so fucking hard, I can split wood without a fucking axe.
As if she heard me complain, she scoots closer, pressing the front of her body to mine, and a loud growl escapes my throat. I angle my body by turning toward her so I can feel more of her.
I’m becoming the animal I know I am, and I worry I’m about to scare her shitless if she rubs against me more. I go still.
She starts moving her body, pushing against mine. Every time she does, she comes in contact with my dick, and I feel just about ready to explode. Quite literally. I’m about to come in my pants, which won’t be fun out here, at night, when I don’t have a spare pair of pants. It’ll only get messier out in the cold.
I’m so focused on not coming in my jeans that I forget to respond to the kiss, because she stops suddenly, looking up at me. “Am I doing something wrong?”
I try to laugh but can’t. The only thing I can manage is a weird choking sound. “No.” I rasp. “I just got a little overexcited.”
“Oh,” she answers and looks down. Of course, the moment she does, the fucker twitches, nearly breaking the zipper. “Oh!” Her eyes dart up, and I’m worried I’ll see fear in her eyes.
But I don’t see any. Instead, I see her gorgeous, pink cheeks redden even more, the sweat on her forehead despite the cold temperature, and her enlarged pupils.
“We should stop then.” Her eyes dart downstairs again.
“Yeah.” I rasp.
“We should.” She bites her goddamn lip again.
And I nod in response, unable to form words. What this woman has done to me is scary. I’m the one who should be running for the hills.
“All right then.” Her voice sounds lower, raspy even. Just like mine.
“All right.” I nod.
And she throws herself at me.
