He crouches next to me, brings his finger under my chin, and lifts it up. “We need to talk about this, Alicia. Please.”
“I can’t,” I tell him. “I haven’t talked about it with anyone.”
“No one?”
I shake my head.
“What about your family?”
Another shake.
“Cops?”
I shake my head more violently this time.
He inhales loudly through his nose and wipes his face with his hands. “So, they’re free?”
I nod.
“All right.” His jaw clenches, the muscles working like they’re on a mission to grind his teeth into dust. He’s thinking—hard—while unconsciously making small circles on my chin with his callused thumb. And I like it. I like the feeling of his roughness. In fact, I’m almost high on this sensation.
My body is starved for it, and I lean into the feeling. I don’t even think he knows what he’s doing—his mind is far, far away—until Ghost nudges him with his nose. “Hey, boy. You’re being a good guard dog?” Mark gives his ear a scratch and pulls away from me.
Before I can back down, I decide to ask him the question I find myself most scared of. “Are you leaving?”
His head whips toward me, his eyes searching for something in mine. He looks genuinely confused. “Why?”
I shrug. “I dunno.”
“No,” he answers with a sigh. “I’m not going anywhere.” He climbs on the bed and pats the spot beside him. “Come on, we need to get some sleep.”
I give Ghost a kiss on the forehead and get on the bed. I’m hesitant to move closer to Mark, but he presses his hand to the mattress, forcing me to roll onto him. I settle in the same position as before, but this time I put a leg over his lap, carefully listening to my body. It’s quiet and at peace.
We don’t say a word for a while, and I drift away to sleep.
ChapterFourteen
MARK
Quiet sobbing, followed by someone punching me in my side, wakes me from my heavy sleep. I open my eyes to Alicia shaking, her body pressed to mine. Her little fists punch my chest, but it doesn’t hurt. Silent sobs come from her open mouth
“Alicia,” I call, but she’s asleep, trapped deep in her nightmare. “Alicia, it’s just a dream. Wake up.” I shake her carefully, but she doesn’t wake up. I call louder. “Alicia!”
Her eyes fly open, lost in time and space. She’s still there, whenever she was trapped, and I have a pretty fucking good idea which moment she was reliving.
“Alicia, it’s me.” I repeat myself, hoping she’ll hear me. “Your friendly neighborhood firefighter.” That seems to bring her back, and her eyes finally focus on my face.
“Sorry,” she says, her voice gruff as she wipes sweat away from her forehead. “I’m sorry. I hate when that happens.”
“Does it happen a lot?” My own voice comes out as a groan, and I fear she’ll get scared again, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, she presses her body to mine, looking for warmth and nearness.
“Less and less.” She sniffles. “Thanks, I don’t remember the last time I wasn’t alone in that.”
I don’t want to respond. What can I say? I’d only get angry. At the assholes who did that. At her family who can’t help her, leaving her alone with her demons. At everyone.
“Thank you, Mark.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I bring my arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. It seems like her demons checked out for a moment. She doesn’t jump back in fear when I touch her. And God knows I need to touch her right now, to make sure she’s okay. Somehow, I feel like I’m the one reliving her nightmares.
