“Where will you sleep?” She looks around as if seeing the space for the first time. “Do you have a tent with you?”
“No, I don’t have one handy at my house.” I shrug it off.
“But you’re still here?”
“Because you needed to stay here.” I look straight into her eyes, probably for the first time, silently communicating thatI understand.
“Where will you sleep then?” Her eyes dart around in pure horror, and I have to remind myself that it’s nothing against me. She doesn’t know I’ve been considered trailer trash all my life… that I’ve been looked upon by the people of Little Hope with judgment for years. She’s been through some traumatic event in her past. She doesn’t intend to be mean.
“Here, by the fire.” I nod at Ghost, snuggled up by the dancing flames. I’m a little worried the dummy will burn his fur, but hey, he’s a big boy, and if he loses his lashes, it’s on him.
“You’ll get cold!” she exclaims, and for a second I think I hear sincere worry in her voice.
“I have a sleeping bag.” I motion to my backpack. “I’ll be fine.”
“You’ll freeze to death here at night. The temperature will drop.” She’s fidgeting with her hands. “You should go home.”
“Not a chance.” I shake my head. “Not leaving you here.”
She nervously bites at her lower lip to the point I fear it will bleed soon as she looks between me and the tent.
“Hey,” I call, but she doesn’t hear. “Alicia.” I put more force behind my voice, and she finally turns toward me. When I know I have her full attention, I continue. “You don’t have to invite me inside. I’m a big boy, and me and Ghost will be fine.” When I see she isn’t convinced, I say, “I promise. I’ve slept out in the cold before.”
“You were camping?” Her eyes are too innocent to hear my horror stories.
“Yeah, something like that.” I try to make my chuckle less dark, but judging from her narrowed eyes, I think I failed. “Anyway, get some water.” I dig into my bag and pass her a bottle. “You need to stay hydrated at night when it’s cold. Drink at least half of it before bed.”
She eyes the bottle questionably. “That’s a lot.”
“Yep, and it’s good for you.”
“All right. I guess I’m gonna go.” She half turns, motioning toward the tent.
“Yeah, a smart idea. Good night,” I say as I give her a weak wave.
ChapterThirteen
ALICIA
You’re a selfish person, Alicia!
I think to myself as I climb into the tent. It’s so windy outside, and so nice in here. It’s not warm per se, but there is no biting cold or wind. How is he going to sleep there? Sure, he can snuggle with Ghost, who is basically a furry heater, but he’ll be sleeping on the frozen ground. Is his sleeping bag warm enough?
I shake my head, hating myself for my inability to invite him to sleep inside where the cold can’t reach him. The guy came here to make sure I’m okay alone in the wilderness, and now he’s forced to freeze his butt out there.
I move the bed around the tent, attempting to find the perfect spot for it in the middle, and take a seat on it. I imagine him walking—more like crawling, considering his height—inside my temporary home, and fearful goose bumps tingle my body. No, I’m not ready to share my space with anyone yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but definitely not today. It’s one thing to be in a close space in his bathroom where we could at least stand, but here… It’s too confined.
I pull my puffy jacket off, spread the sleeping bag on the bed, and zip it on the side so I can just climb in and go to bed. I take my shoes off and leave my warm, fuzzy socks on.
Suddenly I hear a whine from outside and then Mark’s muffled voice.
“Scoot over, I can’t let you in. No, Ghost.” Then more whining. “No, dude. You’re too big for this sack.”
I freeze on the bed. I really can’t do this to them. They’re here because of me, and I’m forcing them to stay in the cold.
I take a deep, tranquilizing breath and close my eyes, imagining once again someone in my space, close to me, when there is no one around to help me. And just as I predicted, a wave of nausea follows. Fuck this, I’m broken. I try to swallow the acidic taste in my mouth, but it doesn’t go away as I imaginesomeonein the tent with me.
But then thesomeonemorphs into that big body, and my nausea gets better. And whensomeone’sface changes into Mark’s, covered in his day-five beard, it completely goes away. I can breathe again.
