“Are you okay?” her soft voice asks from behind me, dripping with concern. It just about does me in.
“Yeah.” I croak. “I’m okay.”
“Your back is done. I can help you with the front too if you want?” It sounds like a question, so I nod, not trusting my voice.
She moves in front of me, wets the cloth, and cleans my chest. Her eyes are trained on her task, and mine are trained on her in the mirror.
The fear of my dick getting hard from her touch was gone. Her gesture is so tender and foreign, I’m drowning in it. I’m so focused on trying to swallow the emotions rising in my chest so I don’t embarrass myself by bawling like a baby.
Her movements don’t feel sexual even once. It’s sweet, tender, and caring. A solicitous gesture I’m careful not to blow up.
And I’m dying on the inside. I’m only now understanding how much I’ve been missing all my life.
She moves to my neck, wiping it clean before dropping the cloth into the sink.
“I did as much as I could. The rest…” She quickly glances at my pants as her cheeks pinken a little, then back at my face. “You’ll have to do on your own.”
“Thank you.” My voice is raspy with emotion, and I hope she doesn’t notice.
“No problem. See you in a minute.” She smiles sweetly.
When she leaves, I grab the sink with both hands and look in the mirror. A sad-looking fuck stares back at me. Am I that fucked up? Is my sister fucked up the same way? We’ve never had a parent to comfort us. We never had hugs. We never had kisses. And for us, it was normal. But is it normal for everyone? Before this moment, I didn’t know what I was missing. Before this moment, I didn’t even know I was missing something. I thought my life was in a good place. I got out of the trailer park. I stopped my old business I had to have in order to make money to feed my sister. I bought this house in a good neighborhood, and I thought I had it all figured out. I was wrong.
Now, I’m yearning for something I’ve never had. And I absolutely do not know how to deal with it.
After I clean myself like she did before, I walk—or more like crawl—outside, and the most delicious smell assaults my nose. My mouth waters. Only now do I remember I haven’t eaten in ages.
Alicia is standing in my kitchen, barefoot—thank God I have heated floors, or her cute little feet with painted-red toenails would be frozen—and stirring something in a sizzling pan. She’s singing something under her breath completely out of tune. It would annoy me in regular circumstances, but I find it oddly adorable. I inwardly grown. How can I find anything she does adorable?
“Oh, you’re here.” She notices me. “I was about to go and get you. Thought you may have drowned in the shower. But your dog wasn’t worried, so I figured you were probably okay.”
“That dog?” I point at Ghost as he eats something from his bowl without giving me even a glance. His ears perk up, but his focus on his food never wavers.
“Fair point.” She laughs.
“I wasn’t even in there for long.”
“You were. Twenty minutes.” She points at the clock on the wall. “The food is almost done.”
“Really?” I walk over, pretending to ignore her first point, and peek in the pan.
“Yeah.” She laughs again. “Take a seat, and I’ll fix you a plate in a few.” She glances at me. “I see you’re feeling better.”
“I am. I guess whatever Rachel did is working.” I scratch the back of my neck. I put my hair in a bun since it’s not really clean, and it’s itchy now. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a good position to wash my hair without wetting the bandages.
“She’s coming tomorrow to check on you and give you more medicine,” Alicia says as she cuts veggies that I definitely didn’t have in my fridge. I nod, not knowing what else to say.
A few moments later, I have a bowl of steaming soup in front of me that smells absolutely heavenly. I eat it so fast, I don’t think I’m even chewing. Alicia places another plate in front of me, filled with homemade chicken and rice.
“When did you make all of this?” I look at her, my eyes full of wonder.
“You took a really long time, plus, the chicken thawed while I was out. And I had cooked rice at home.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal that she prepared so much food for me. I usually only get this many options when I go out to eat.
My plate is empty in minutes, and she offers me more. Despite how much I’d love to have it, I don’t think it’s a good idea to stuff my stomach when I’m this sick. I don’t want to vomit all this glory.
I offer to help clean, but she waves me off, so I go to the couch with my traitor dog on my heels. I turn the TV on. Some scary show pops onto the screen, and I think it’s fitting since Halloween is around the corner. Alicia makes herself comfy on the chair, her feet up.
“What are you doing?” I ask, dumbfounded.
