Prologue
“Nobody will get to you on time.” A heavy breathing assaults the back of my head. “Nobody.” I hear a disgusting sound from behind me, like a hyena hackling. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to drown it out. I’ll never look at that animal the same again. He presses my face into the bed and drags my pants down. “Nobody will come. You’re all alone here.” His whisper drops. “With us.”
I wake up to my sheets completely soaked in sweat. It’s the same nightmare that has been haunting me for years. It’s always the same moment of that night. The same words. The same people. And the same no-escape situation. They haunt me in my waking moments and in my sleep, even all these years later.
Today is a lucky day for me; I woke up a little earlier, a few breaths before my life was forever changed, so I don’t have to relive it again. I check the time. It’s four thirty in the morning—no way I’ll go back to sleep after that. I never do.
I look around my room to ground myself. My shelf is stacked with some of my favorite books, some of which have been there for years… some since, well, eight years ago. I’m twenty-six and still live with my parents. Still have the same nightmare. The same furniture since I was a teenager. The same paint on the walls.
And the same sleepless nights.
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and falling back against my pillows. Something needs to change. Anything. I’m not saying I’m ready to moveon,but I think I’m ready to moveaway.
I sigh, accepting the fact it won’t be easy. For any of the members of my family.
But it’s time.
ChapterOne
ALICIA
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Kayla, my older brother’s girlfriend, asks, carrying a box to the kitchen. My first kitchen, which will belong toonly me. I look around with pride. I won’t be sharing the space with my mom anymore. I love my mom—I do—but I want to do things my way.
Kayla’s perfect ash-blonde hair sticks to her sweaty forehead and she has raccoon mascara smudges under her eyes, yet she’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever seen. Her colorful tattoos play peekaboo from under her long sleeves as she unboxes the silverware my mom packed for my new home. Sometimes I stare at them in wonder. I love her tattoos, but I’m not sure I could handle getting one. To let someone keep touching my skin for hours? I don’t think so.
Kayla notices me watching her art and covers it with the sleeves of her sweater, sending me a playful wink. She is such a beautiful woman. Mixed with Justin, she’ll make me the cutest nephews and nieces in the universe, so I can spoil them rotten.
Despite our rough beginning, I think about how lucky I am to have her now. She didn’t have to forgive us for how we treated her, but she did. She’s the type of person who shines despite everything. I judged her wrongfully before, and I’ll be ashamed of that for the rest of my life.
Plus, she’s so good for Justin. He finally took that pretty-boy mask off, and now, surprisingly, he’s a decent human being. Almost. Well, he’s getting there.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” And I’m sure that I’m sure. It was time to get out from under my parents’ wings.
My parents love me to death, but sometimes it can be crippling. With my history, it’s understandable, to a certain degree. At least Justin got off my back after Kayla talked to him.
I support myself and make decent money, but still I’ve been living in my childhood bedroom, scared to venture into the real world again. Today is my first day living independently at the sweet age of twenty-six.
I look around the house. The building is old, built in the nineteen hundreds. I don’t think there have been many renovations ever since. It’s one story, with shallow ceilings, one bedroom, one bath, a living room with a vintage fireplace, and an oversized eat-in kitchen.
The kitchen is what sold me. It’s never been updated, which I think gives it a certain charm. All the appliances are old besides the fridge and the stove. The original molding on the cabinets is broad and highly detailed. The island is oval. I never thought I’d love a weird, oval-shaped kitchen island, but I can already imagine sitting here with a laptop and a steaming cup of coffee, typing all my wild fantasies away.
Another thing I absolutely adore is the fireplace. Built with the house, its red brick and beautifully detailed iron cover give me shivers of pleasure as I imagine curling up in front of a crackling fire during late, cozy winter nights. Good thing cold nights are frequent here, deep in Maine. I let out a dreamy sigh.
If I’m completely honest, Little Hope, our charming small town, doesn’t have many renting options available, so I’ve been waiting for Mrs. Jenkins’s daughter to move her mom in with her. Mrs. Jenkins is a wonderful old lady, but a little too old to live independently. So when Justin had mentioned months ago that he wanted to call her daughter and explain how bad things were getting, I got excited. And I’ve been waiting patiently ever since for it to happen.
“The place is dope.” Kayla saunters over to me, looking around. “I can’t believe you scored it.” She shakes her head, digging into the bags on the counter.
“Me neither. It’s pure luck.” It’s not. I’d been lurking in the bushes, waiting for the perfect moment to ambush the scary old lady with my proposal.
“I’d say it is. You charmed the hell out of Mrs. Jenkins.”
“What can I say? I am a natural-born charmer.” I wink. I’m so not. A long time ago, maybe. But not anymore. Now I just hide behind this façade of a total bitch or a fluffy bear, depending on the mood. We Attleboroughs all have that in common. We seem to all like hiding behind our own masks. Yeah, we’re blood related for sure.
Kayla laughs. She’s one of the few people who knows what happened to me, so she doesn’t believe my veneer for a second. “Also, Justin’s been fixing her car for years for almost nothing. I may have reminded her of it.” I shoot her a sheepish smile and shrug.
“You hussy!” She points a finger at me, laughing. “For real though, how did you convince her to rent it out to you and not someone else?”
“It wasn’t easy. The lady is tough, man.” I shiver, remembering every conversation I tried to start. She always sent me on my merry way with a cute, very grandma-like “screw you, Alicia, go bother your parents; they got money and can get you anything.” But I wanted this old house. I’ve been watching it since I was a kid as we drove by. It looked like a fairy cabin, nestled deep in the forest, from a story about a long-lost princess who finds her prince and has her happily ever after. Something I’ll never have.That’swhy I wanted the house, so at least I can havethat.
