I you.
Make time for a Main Character Bath soon. You need it.
There were a lot of things I needed at the moment. Top of the list was off limits, and a blood relation of my best friend. But in lieu of that, a bath would be great.
CHAPTER 13
MIKE
“What crawled up your ass and died, Mikey?”
“Your personality,” I retorted. “Call off the search; stay a boring dick for the rest of your life.”
My boss stopped what he was doing, which was stirring two teaspoons of sugar into his cup, and stared at me, eyebrows raised. The Pakeha farmer had grey hair that he wore a trucker cap over, making tufts stick out the sides.
“You asked,” I said defensively.
Brent Hodges wasn’t my favorite person in the world. I worked for him seasonally, but even one season had felt like too much this year. Hodges used to be all right (boring, but all right), but a few years ago something went down between his wife and his neighbor and it’d made him bitter.
Thankfully, this was my last week working for Hodges. The work was wrapping up as the weather changed, and with the café’s new owner footing all the big bills, we Hollidays weren’t as pinched for cash these days. I was looking forward to sleeping past four every morning.
Hodges had promised me a bonus with my final payment and was sitting at the table with his online banking app open, faffing his way through the transaction. I shouldn’t have been hurling insults at such a vulnerable financial time, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Proving my point, Mikey,” Hodges said, setting his teaspoon down with unnecessary care, like a politician readying themselves for a big speech. He steepled his fingers and stared at me. “You seem off your game.”
The annoying thing was he was right.
It had been a few days since my dad and my best friend had clocked me splitting nuts for Lyssa like we were an old married couple, and that plus one since I’d nearly fucked her on the side of the road. The girl was well and truly under my skin now, and I’d been avoiding her ever since. One stiff breeze would be all it would take to push me in her direction, then I’d either throw her over my shoulder and lock her in my room so we could fuck six ways from Sunday; or I’d confess I’d been obsessed with her since I’d first watched one of her videos a couple years ago. Both terrible courses of action.
Lyssa Luxe was my sister’s best friend, and obviously sexually inexperienced—she squirmed and panted under my mouth like it was her very first time. And obviously, I was a slutbag, so it was for her sake as much as mine that I stayed away from her.
Avoiding her wasn’t a manly tactic, but it was the only one I could survive.
Over my mug of tea, I studied Hodges. He wasn’t exactly known for giving many shits about his workers’ feelings. Was Hodges … trying to care? Had hell frozen over?
Everything made sense when he said, “You were much slower on the job this morning. Your head’s not in the game.”
I was going to say something about not needing my head to move cows, but Sharn came into the kitchen. Smiling brightly, she offered me a biscuit from the tray she’d just made.
Hodges scowled like his wife had just asked to sit on my face.
Sharn was a pretty woman, and I didn’t have any problem giving an older girl a good time, but married women weren’t my type—other than that one time which wasn’t my fault, because she lied by omission. Nowadays, I asked a bird if she was married before I let her ride the Mike Mobile.
Or I had, anyway. I didn’t do that kind of thing anymore. NEW MIKE.
God my balls were blue.
I took a biscuit, trying to ignore the cleavage Sharn was practically plating up for me; but Hodges still glared and my bonus probably lost a few digits.
I stood, biscuit in hand. “All right, Hodges, mate. I’ll leave you to it, shall I?”
“Sit back down, Mike,” he pointed.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to go fuck himself, but I wanted to keep as many digits as possible in that bonus, and it was uncharacteristic of Hodges to want to chat.
“You know I’m part of the Tararua Rural Entrepreneurs Association, don’t you?”
I nodded. This was all the more reason I should have been stowing my fucking attitude, but I didn’t expect Hodges to vote in my favor anyway, so I might as well save my kissing for a more receptive ass. Now, if Sharn had been on the board, ass-kissing might have yielded results. But I was a squeaky-clean boy now, and I would not tongue hiney to make people like me. NEW MIKE.
