“Just spit it out. I won’t judge.”
People always said that. Right before they judged.
“Do you remember me talking about the head of my department, Paul?”
Caroline made a noise in her throat which was both confirmation and suspicion.
I’d deliberately not told her about mine and Paul’s budding romantic relationship. I knew she would have disapproved and said I was too naive to handle a complex dynamic like this.
Turns out, she would have been right.
“He didn’t do anything assault-y, I want to be clear. Things were nice but … well, I guess I read too much into things. Then I got angry and went in guns blazing, like I always do, instead of being calm and reasonable.” I sighed. “But you know all this. It’s in the livestream.”
Caroline looked guilty. “I haven’t watched the livestream yet,” she confessed. “Chase and I have been busy bonding with Pickles and redoing the spare room, and last week I was running my workshop for baby burlys so I haven’t been on social media at all. You know I’m not online as much as you.”
She didn’t mean to rub it in my face that her life was busy and full and mine wasn’t. But it was the result.
“It’s fine,” I said tightly. “I get that you’re busy.”
Color rose in her cheeks. “You make a lot of videos, Lyssa. Like five or six a day. It’s impossible to watch them all.”
“Oh totally, people with adoring boyfriends and thriving careers and satisfying sex lives don’t have time for their friends. I get it.”
Caroline made a hurt sound, but I hurt more.
“Let me give you the CliffsNotes.” I wiggled my fingers at the screen and over pronounced my words like this was a spill-the-tea confessional video. The influencer accent was very specific, and it was second nature for me at this point. “My pivot to aspirational New Zealand content is going great. Can’t cancel charisma, honey! I’m pushing to a lot of new audiences now, and it’s slowly having a positive effect on my overall sentiment. People really like Mini M, and the chickens too. Look at this!” I flipped the camera to show the miniature horse in the paddock. “Mini M is twirling on the ground! Slay!”
The tiny horse was rolling in a divot on the ground, kicking up dust clouds. Finishing, he scrambled to his feet and shook, his skin still twitching off dirt long after his body stilled. As I swung the camera back around to beam at an unhappy Caroline, Mini M abruptly decided I was interesting and ambled toward where I sat on the fence.
“Everything is great for me now. Perfect, you might say,” I continued. “Mike isn’t in any of my content.”
Not yet. Once I’d learned from him how to correctly do sex appeal, then I’m sure he would be besotted enough to let me video him. Then I’d make the best thirst traps my followers had ever seen.
“You know he’s not into social media.”
Again, yet.
“My brother can barely text. He emails me pictures of his chickens.”
“I know. He added me to his chicken distribution list the day after my first Holli-ford family Zoom call.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“It’s not deep, he just thinks everyone wants his chickens in their inbox.”
Caroline sighed. “I’ll talk to him about the unsolicited chick pics.”
I nearly told her not to, because I liked them. But she might find that suspicious. I was supposed to find her brother cringe and annoying in all the ways she did. That was girl code.
“Kevin was in one of my videos this morning,” I said instead. “We had coffee together, and he let me film him giving a tutorial on how to make a flat white espresso.”
Mike was working at the café today too, although he was clearly avoiding me. Except for when his dad repeated his invite for me to come and watch Mike’s game tomorrow (game of what, I didn’t know,) and told him to show me around town after. That made Mike grumble, but he shut up when his dad looked crestfallen.
“My dad makes an excellent flat white,” Caroline agreed, but her expression was too neutral.
“Totally. It’s nice of him to make me feel so welcome. And for Mike to let me stay with him.”
“You said it was Mike’s idea for you to go to New Zealand?” Caroline asked. I could hear a fine, silver thread of something suspicious in her voice.
